...tiredness... path of light ahead after darkness

2009-09-12T21:30:00.003+08:00

Finally got myself to blog.. Been putting it off again and again... School is starting soon and I'm getting lazier... This shdn't be the case.. I got to be more disciplined when school starts. More time to be dedicated for sch and study. Exams results came out quite a while ago. Did okie. Starting my year 2 le. I dunno if I'm excited or worried or numbed abt it. Well, tis year would be quite different as the modules I'm taking are quite different frm my other frens. So I've to attend most of my lessons alone except POA and OTIA. Managed to find company and attend lessons tgt. Hope I can find new frens for my other classes. Van is like going to school on Mon afternoon and Thurs morning. SO WE WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO GO SCHOOL TGT! Damn sian and boring can. No one to talk to you on train. No one for me to disturb and pass time on train. Sobs... I need to find khaki to take train to school. Hee...

Enjoying myself for the last few mths. Abt 2 weeks or so for me to enjoy and play b4 I commit myself to school and work. Abit sad though. WEnt with my aunt to Tampines 1 today to eat and shop. Din get anything.. Saw a dress frm Vogue but I dun think it's worth the price. A little pricey for tt dress.. Totally enjoyed the food at Manpuku. Yummy.

SAusage..

Chocolate Banana Parfait (love it lots)

Seafood Udon

KidsREAD

2009-08-31T17:58:00.002+08:00

Had my 1st session of story telling with the kids. OMG!!!!!!! I din manage to imagine how i fare tt day.. Projector was sent for repair so i had to gather them and make them sit in front of me while i tell them the story. Din expect that at all. I was tongue tied and nervous thruout the story telling... But my other volunteers said that I did v well that day. Haha.. So proud of myself... I can see that the kids enjoyed themselves alot.. The kids from my grp were v well behaved and nice that day. 1 of them sat right in front of me and was participative thruout the whole session.

The activities I did with them were also interesting. Taught them abt animals and the sounds they make. I can say that for this activity, the volunteers and the kids enjoyed and loved them lots. A lollipop for the correct answer frm the kids. A clap for the correct answer frm the volunteers. Haha. Went on to explore more animals and the sounds they make b4 closing the activities Part 1. Went on to Part 2 of the activities. They had to decorate and complete the Maracas made frm Yakult bottles. (maracas are a type of musical instrument whereby there's beads or beans inside. Sounds are produced when u shake them.) Once done, can hear some of them shaking n singing with the volunteers.. Fun Fun Fun for that day..

Felt so accomplished and proud of myself for that day. Couldn't stop smiling on my way home that day. It's been quite long since I felt so happy and proud of myself. I dun mind doing another session of the reading again! More surprises are awaiting.. It's v heart warming when I see the kids learning and improving. That is also the objective of the whole programme.

2009-08-23T22:59:00.003+08:00

Been busy with work all these while... Managed to squeeze some time to blog.. Haven been doing much except going to work n coming home to my lovely bed.. Haha.. Super no life like tt rite? I feel it's still okie as I have some rest days... Not every day is a busy n tiring day.. Went for this APEC (Asia Pacific Economic Cooperation) interview on Sat.. Got in and awaiting for the schedule to come out.. I think it'll be quite fun though tiring.. A new experience plus can meet till more ppl.. A great way to widen my horizons too. I gotta go do some research on the event and also to familiarise myself with S'pore more... In case, I get bombarded with some funny or interesting qns.. Hope my duty days are the same as my fren.. Got company is still better. Looking forward to the event.

WEnt shopping around orchard aft tt.. Oh my... I think if my expenses are paid for tt day and i have a card to use, I would enjoy myself totally.. Saw quite a lot of stuff but cash limited! only bot a dress frm hula n co.. E 1st time i got sth there.. I can hardly fit into their clothes... Either it's too revealing or too short for me.. Found one tt fits me to a T tt day and i bot it.. Hee... Got to find a dress for wedding.. Had been keeping a lookout but cant find 1 tt's nice.. Hmm.. Hope i can find it soon..

Wore the heels tt i tot wont give me too much problems. In the end, i ended up with super duper bad blisters. The pain was unbearable when i put the medicine. Nearly cried when i was putting the medication. Had to 咬紧牙关 when i went to work today.. Cuz the wound is so raw and i had to wear covered shoes, it's so damn painful. I think I super unglam today. Cuz i walked awkwardly thruout. Tmr will b the same again cuz i had to go work. Dunno how am i supposed to go sleep tonight. Even as I sitting down now n typing, I'm feeling the pain now n then. Poor me.. I wan my blisters to heal fast. I supposed it would happen with a miracle. Hee..

Tues is coming and I'm looking forward to it! Excited, excited, excited!!!!

2009-08-06T20:28:00.001+08:00

I feel so touched to see them improving and enjoying the sessions that we have put in effort to prepare and deliver. The hard work is compared to nothing if the children are learning n have benefitted from what we had done for them. The hugs by them really warmed my heart that day. Thanks for making my day! Muacks. I'm always looking forward to each and every sessions with them.

2009-08-06T20:13:00.002+08:00

Last thurs was an enjoyable day. Went out with my girl frens. We had lots of fun that day. Went for a massage at Afond spa. Shiok but ended up with body aches. Most probabaly cuz of accumulated strain frm my daily activities n work. Shall go back for a massage soon if my budget allows. It's quite relaxing aft the massage. They even served us ginger tea at the end of the session. I liked my therapist.

Went for the Singapore Flyer aft our massage. It wasnt that bad n scary as i tot. Hee.. I did stand n move around the capsule. Took quite some photos too. Ppl with phobia of heights can go for the ride. Tested n tried by yours sincerely. I expected myself to scream n juz sit on the bench thruout the whole ride. Better than expected! I dun mind going for the ride again. Hee..

Went for a super late lunch at Just Acia and shopping and arcade session aft that. Fun fun fun! It's been a long time since i last had so much fun...

In flight compass

The capsule.

Me! (trying to distract myself by cam whoring)

Sneak preview of Future CBD

Salmon fried set

Dory in their special ginger sauce..

Ice cream! (chocolate, mango n raspberry)

1 of my fav machine in the arcade.

2009-07-29T11:27:00.002+08:00

Happy... Was supposed to go for a ride and random walking yest.. In the end, was given a surprise. Went to marina barrage and saw lots of stars.. So stayed there to gaze at the stars and spent some time there. The last time i gazed at stars was like a few years back at Pulau Ubin. It was during OBS and my grp decided to lie on the sand and look at the stars. It's beautiful.. I relieved those wonderful memories yest. Saw a shooting star. ONLY ONE!!! It was quite fast and i din managed to wish upon a shooting star. But i made wishes upon the other stars. This is the 1st time i saw a shooting star. It's beautiful and wonderful. I hope to see more. Well.. I do hope my wishes will come true.. Seeing so many stars and a shooting star on the same day, i feel so lucky!

2009-07-27T12:15:00.000+08:00

Time really flies.. July is coming to an end soon... August is coming and i think i'll be super busy.. Short of staff in clinic, so i'll work more then.. Schedule is not out yet but roughly it'll be a hectic August.. Work is not tt bad now but i cant say for sure that things will really turn out good always.. Life always has challenges. We have to learn how to cope and move on. When a challenge comes, we have to face it bravely and overcome it. Only then, we'll be stronger and happier. I do believe in that now.

Going for a massage plus flyer plus shopping on thurs with 369.. Happy.. Been quite a while since we last met up. Everyone has been so busy and caught up with our work and stuff.. So gonna go enjoy ourselves on thurs. However, I'm quite reluctant to go up the flyer as i've a phobia of heights. Went for the skyride in Sentosa and i was screaming away. Closed my eyes shut for like the whole journey uphill. So i think can guess how bad is my phobia of heights. THE WHOLE RIDE FOR THE FLYER TAKES 30MINS!!!!!!!!! Van says they'll leave me in a corner if i start screaming away and ignore me. Then the 2 of them shall go enjoy the ride and the scenary outside. If i'm really tt scared, i think i'll sit on the floor and face the floor or the benches there. Sounds v pathetic and ke lian loh.. Hope i wont b tt scared and can enjoy the scenary outside. Heard frm those who had been up on the flyer. They said that the scenary and view is v nice. I wanna experience and enjoy the whole ride. Feel excited and scared at the same time. Shall blog aft i've taken the ride. There might be a surprise.. I've alot of things that i wanna get and buy. However, money is an issue! sobs.. So gotta plan my finances well so tt i can at least get those tt i want more badly de.. Hee..

2009-07-10T10:36:00.003+08:00

Yahoo.. Going to meet my sis for lunch ltr! Yummy food and she's going to treat me. Haha... Good food b4 going to work. It's an enjoyment. Haha... Gotta go exercise soon.. If not will gain weight fast. Hee.. Tata...

2009-07-10T10:03:00.002+08:00

Recovering well frm my wisdom tooth surgery.. It wasnt as bad as i heard frm ppl who had undergone it.. Gave myself a bad scare. Many things happened recently. It makes me rethink abt life and not take things for granted which many of us do.

Life is really that fragile and things always happen unexpectedly. Many of us are caught by surprises almost daily. Some will know how to react while there will b a handful who will be at a loss of what to do. My great grandma juz ended her chapter of life on 28th june. It's saddening for those who are still living. To her, it might juz b a relief. She need not be plagued by pain and loneliness. She lived to a ripe old age of 98. She's blessed with grandchildren and great grandchildren. I'm glad that i went to visit her a few weeks b4 her death. Spent some happy moments with her. Was happy that she enjoyed the cake that my aunt bot for her. Those were 1 of the precious moments that i'll rmb n treasure. Lao ma, rest in peace.

Learn to treasure all those people around us. Sometimes, u'll neva know what can happen. I dun wish to be caught by surprises again. The pain is unbearable. Juz like the case of my grandma who passed away suddenly 3 yrs ago. She was quite a healthy lady with no major illness. She was feeling unwell in the morning and she was gone in the afternnon. No one expected that! So always spent time with ur loved ones, no matter how irritating or sickening they can be. Dun live to regret it when they're gone. By then, everything will be too late. Life is super unpredictable. U can be super healthy, but a car accident can juz take away ur life. Pursue ur passion/dreams, do the things that u've always wanted as life is short. Why worry abt this n that??

I think i'll give up at this pt of time. I dun think i'll get a v positive ans in the end. Though i'm actually hoping for a positive ans. Chang tong bu ru duan tong. It's juz an agony to b waiting n waiting. GOt to find things to do to divert my mind off this issue.

2009-06-28T18:26:00.002+08:00

I'm going for my wisdom tooth surgery tmr.. Excited and scared at the same time.. i dunno how it'll turn out but i koe tt for abt a few days, i'll have a swollen face.. Not much food intake till the swelling is down. So soft diet till i recover. I told my mum abt it and she already plan my meals for me le.. The downside is tt i've to cook them myself. It's okie i guess.. Butterflies in my stomach now and i dunno why!

I can only sms or go on msn to talk so dun call me these few days as i wont be able to talk. I think my sis's bf and my bro will come disturb me but i think i shall ignore them. Tt's wat they always like to do. Hee..

Girl.. Aft i recover, we shall go makan and shop.. By then i oso will get my pay le so i can go enjoy myself.. Hee.. Try and ask sh out.. She like busier than us. Haha..

2009-06-21T18:33:00.002+08:00

I totally enjoyed myself today!!! Went for the Samsung AYG challenge for beach netball! All u girls played well! Though it's a pity but we really enjoyed ourselves! Went into the 2nd round but din get through to the finals. Sad though but i really enjoyed myself v much. It's like ages since i last had so much fun!!! Hee.. I won 2 tickets to the AYG football semi finals.. Well, i dun really wanna watch the football match, so i'm gonna give the tickets to my brother n his fren. I think they would appreciate the match better than i do. It's all fun n laughter today.

However, i'm quite badly burnt! Went sentosa last sun with my sis's fren to play volley. Was alreadi burnt once. Today, burnt again! I did put sunblock tis time though! The sun dun really like us today! Whenever it's our turn to play, the sun will juz shine n be at it's hottest! In the end, all of us were burnt! Lobsters n crabs for dinner today! Haha! The amazing thing is tt not my whole face is burnt. Burnt frm nose upwards! Tt's super duper weird! Frm nose upwards, my face is super red! Sob sob..

Looking forward to such events again!

2009-06-21T18:20:00.003+08:00

It's been like a super long time since i last update le. Sorry! shall do some updates now. Exams are like over in may! I'm so relieved and happy that exams are over! Went to rest n relax n play for a few days b4 going back to work. Time to earn more money!

Work was not tt bad initially! However, it worsen recently! My honey @ work n I are considering some other options now. We're quite disappointed n dishearted at wat happened. Things have changed n the environment there is not as good as b4. We cant bear to leave there but like not much choice. Unless we can grit our teeth n juz ignore everything. She cant really concentrate during work and broke quite a few stuff as a result. As for me, i dun feel the passion in working n dun really give it my all during work. Haiz. It's quite saddening tt things have come to such an end. Wat can we do?

I need an answer to everything!

2009-04-26T11:13:00.003+08:00

Having lesser n lesser time to study, much less blog.. A quick update today! Exams are getting nearer, i'm gettting more n more nervous. Not much time to study n be tt well prepared for the upcoming exams tt'll commence in abt 2 weeks???!!! ARGH!!! everyone's panicking n doing all the minute chiong-ing. All of us hope for the best! It's not easy!!! We've become people with no life. Studying n studying n studying with pathetic time for rest n relaxation.

The weather is super duper horrible! i'm feeling horrible. The heat is so bad tt i can feel myself burning at times. I wonder when the weather will be better. Having short hair now dun really help. I'm still feeling warm everday! Haiz!

I quite like my new haircut!

Update

2009-04-09T11:56:00.002+08:00

Time really flies.. I'm closer n closer to my exams. As the date gets nearer, i get more nervous. I'm not v prepared for my exams yet! Reality has not sink in yet. I don't feel the intensity and heat yet!! How???? I'm still taking things slow. That should never be the way since I don't have much time now. I don't wAnt to regret again. I wan to stand proud at the end and say that I have done my v best and this is the results I want to get! Action speak louder than words! Prove it!

I've stopped working for the moment till my exams are over. Gonna miss my colleagues & bosses. We're quite a close knit 'family'. There's warmth while working there. 'No exaggeration' Many things happened recently in the twinkling of the eye. People learn to grow stronger thru these experiences. People mature in the process. That's life.

Going for a volley game tmr. 'Excited' Hope Van can join us too. It's gonna be super fun! haha. The 2 of ur dun fight hor! I love sports and i dun think i can give them up for watever reasons. I can still remember how angry my mama was when i insisted on going for my trainings n games despite the injuries I have. The sinseh would say that i MUST rest for at least 3 weeks and i would go back for trainings maximum after 1 week of rest. My mama would hit the roof when she found out and she would tell me the terrible after effects if i don't rest well. Hee.. I supposed that's the spirit of sports people. Just like the 9pm show, 'Table of Glory'.

There are many changes going on. We can either grow or break in the process. Determination, support, love and care and many other factors play a part. Ultimately, we decide and plan our OWN future.

2009-03-19T11:11:00.003+08:00

Prelims are over and it's time to start preparing for the main exam that will commence in MAY. Gave myself a few days off after prelims to rest and relax and to enjoy myself before starting on my next tiring journey. Prelims was still alright. Waiting for the results to come and see how well/badly i fared. Hee..

It's not easy being a student and working at the same time. Some things are sacrificed as a result. However, having not much choices, i just have to endure and carry on this tiring journey. About 2 more years then i can regained my freedom. Looking forward to that day where i can proudly attend my convocation with all smiles. Enjoying my less busy days at the moment. Once april starts, i think i can camp inside the school. Revision workshops from 10 to 5 pm almost everyday!!!! My colleagues saw my timetable for april and they understood wat i meant by no time to go work le.. My bosses was also asking me when i stopping work to study and when i can go back work again! I also wish to go back to work fast. If i dont go work, it means i'll either have less/ no expenses at all. So i wont 和钱过不去. Hee...

Time really flies.. I close to finishing my Year 1 of uni le.. Worked at my current place for 7 mths le.. I'm looking forward to a pay rise. Hope i can have more expenses soon.. (Hint hint) Once you are doing something that is of ur interest or something that you enjoy doing, you will not find it a chore to do it but instead love what you are doing and learn more at the same time. However, if you are forced to do something, you can neva find joy in it and will end up doing things routinely and never progress in your work. But, that's life!!! We can only accept it and look at things in a different light.

2009-03-19T10:05:00.006+08:00

My birthday party was a success.. Thank you to those who came.. Had a lot of fun that day.. I think my sis n Van totally loved the part where i had to do the forfeits.. They really had a lot of funny ideas.. Nothing much screwed up on tt day.. Phew.. Older by a year le. I supposed many things are starting to change. More responsibilities, more burden and more things to take care of.

me n Ying yu

Audrey, me n jackson

Me n My 2 bosses!

me, jia li n Van

Me n jia li

me n Van

me n QJ

me n Wei Luo

Kit, Jia Ying n Me

Me n My birthday cake

Blowing out the candles

I feel so bleesed! 2 birthday kisses!

2009-02-25T15:03:00.002+08:00

Prelims will be coming real soon... My 1st paper will start on 27th feb... I'm not really prepared for prelims.. It's too rushed.. I'll try my best though... 28th feb will be my b-dae party... I'm so happy n looking forward to it! Cant hold the party on my actual day as it's a weekday.. Attendance will b low if i going to hold a party... I'm quite sad n disappointed for the magic show tt i planned for u guys will be cancelled. The magician is down with chicken pox... Well.. Too bad then.. Think i'll disappear for quite some time again as i'll be busy preparing for my exams aft my prelims... Will try to find time to blog. Any special events or happenings, i'll blog them.. No worries... Getting older le... Haiz...

I do treasure the ppl around me.. Thanks to those who had been by my side always, giving me the support n encouraging me.. Love ya!

2009-02-25T12:59:00.016+08:00

Photos frm my taiwan trip!!! It's been long long overdue though... Hee

Me, bro, mum n aunt @ Changi Airport

Me n Bro..

Bored... This happens when no one is there to entertain u on plane...

Sunset taken from the plane... Nice rite???

Toilet bowl (from the guy's toilet in 1 of the restaurants we went to)

Me, Alex, Bro n Alex's sis

Us on the long long bus journey...

A small portion of the meatball.. (fishballs, meatballs, etc are real huge there)

Toilet themed Restaurant in Ximenting

Above: 1 of the dessert they offered...

A dustbin...

Taipei 101 (din get to go up to enjoy the scenery.. the tour guide told us not to waste money to go up to lvl 80+ to enjoy nth... Ppl go up in e evening to enjoy the night scenery.. )

Five-cent driftwood restaurant...

Guys will always b guys...

At 5-cent driftwood restaurant..

At some memorial place... there's the gurads changing ceremony..

Machine they used to make real nice Pearl milk tea... Yummy..

Pillars from some temple.. It's really exquisite

Us outside the theme park..

Bro n Alex ( getting ready for 1 of e rides)

The indoor pirate ship.. (i nearly fainted)

The outdoor thrill ride (i screamed like mad while taking it)

The horrifying UFO drop!

Long long bus ride again...

Bro emo-ing...

It's a PET PIG!!!!

My haven!

Breath-taking sights frm Fo Guang Shan (had to climb a long flight of stairs to get there)

One of e hotel we stayed in..

Kaohsiung 85 skytower (frm the lvl 74 viewing deck)

Bro @ Kaohsiung airport

Taken from our hotel

At Taipei Int'l Airport

My 'lao gong'

2009-01-29T18:16:00.002+08:00

Sorry ppl... Out of action for quite a long time le. Been v v busy ever since i came back from my trip. Totally enjoyed the trip on the whole! The only not so enjoyable thing was the shopping! As it was the winter season in Taiwan, the clothes they sold were all winter wear. So, living in a tropical country, we couldn't get the clothes. Sian loh. Shall talk more abt the trip and upload the photos in another post.

I haven go extract my wisdom tooth yet. Cuz too busy le, so din have the time. Most probably in march ba. After my birthday and prelims. I still haven really confirm the exact day. Hee.

CNY this year wasnt so enjoyable though. The festive mood isn't there. It just feels like another day. As usual, went to my great grandma's hse on the 1st day. She's getting older n older day by day. She's always v v happy to see us. I'm oso happy to see her. Din get to chat much with her tis year cuz we went there quite late. By the time things got settled, she gotta go rest le. My cousins are super duper noisy bunch of kids. They nearly turned the hse upside down again. Luckily, my 3rd uncle was nice, he asked me and my sis to go to his guest room there to watch tv instead. At least we can watch tv in peace. His hse is super big n nice. Day 2 of CNY was also visiting. Went to my yi po's hse and bui jin po's hse. My 2 little cousins came over to my hse in the evening tt day. They're lovable but naughty and noisy. i'm such a nice, cute and lovable person. Cuz my little cousin allowed me to carry her when she came. Hee.. When we went over to her hse, she refused to let any of us to carry her except her grandmother. She still refused to let anyone of us carry her when she came over. Finally, she allowed me to carry her throughout and i played with her. My sis played with her elder sis instead. I loved kids! hee..

Exams are coming soon in may. Before that, it would be prelims 1st. I'm still not prepared for prelims at all.. Juz started revision like yest!! Prelims would start on the 27th feb. It's like less than 1 mth loh! Sian sian sian.. After prelims, then revision workshops then it would be the finals. Time sure pass fast. Exams are approaching, tt means i have to stop working soon. Loss of income sia!!! Wat can i do? My boss thinks studying is easy loh. I told him i'll not work so much for feb. He asked me why. Then i told him cuz prelims coming soon le. Then he said, "prelims important meh? Need to study one ar? i tot v easy de." I was like ".....????? Easy???!!!!!!!!" Im happy to have found this job. My colleagues and bosses are v v nice and understanding. Thank you so much! Looking forward to working tmr. Though it may be tiring, but there's enjoyment in the process.

2008-11-09T15:01:00.002+08:00

I shall fast forward things abit. In case i dun have the time or the chance to blog again. Hee. Many things are happening for this nov n dec. I'll be quite busy loh. Hope i got time for myself n to rest. I got to work more shifts this nov. Cuz clinic short-handed, so can help then gotta help loh. Haiz. Only motivation is e more i work, the more $$ i'll get! Still got tests n assignments to hand up. Hope i got time for all this. Think my IBM test tis thurs abit no hope le. I haven really go study. No matter wat, i muz try my best! I dunno how things will turn out for the LA OP tt i'll assist tmr. This is e 1st time i'll be e 1st assistant. Totally different frm 2nd assistant. 1st assistant got more stuff to do n more responsibilities.Everything will turn out well! (nods head) Then 26 nov i've a wedding dinner to attend. It's my cousin's wedding(my father side de) Cant rmb when's e last time i went for a wedding dinner.

Dec will be a better mth i hope. I'll be going taiwan for a short trip with my aunt n my bro. 6 days trip. Leaving on e 13th. I'm pretty excited for this trip. Hee. I cant wait to go taiwan! Hope i dun freak out when i'm there. Cuz we'll b going to the kaoxiong 85 skytower and taipei 101. Hee.. No matter wat, i muz go there n have a look. Will tell u guys if i managed to get to the top n e experience there. Hope i dun turn jelly. Hmmm...
Aft my trip, it's gonna b packed n busy weeks ahead. Going for a medical appt on 23rd dec. Enjoying my short christmas celebration then going for my wisdom tooth surgery on 26th dec. I muz enjoy my christmas to the fullest tis yr. If not i no need to enjoy aft my surgery le. 1 to 2 weeks of soft diet plus pain plus all the discomfort and swelling. Sian loh. I have to go thru all these TWICE somemore! I've 2 wisdom teeth to extract. Poor me loh! Then gotta start preparing for my final exams le! Scared! Scared!

Time will fly real fast n we'll be into 2009 le. It'll be a new yr n a new start. New yr resolutions tt most of us will hardly follow. Hee. (i'm partly gulity of tt too) Anyways, juz hope tt things will always get better ba. I think i'll get thru all these de! All e way! :)

2008-11-09T14:40:00.003+08:00

Went sentosa with van yest. but b4 that, went to meet zx to discuss the savings plan. The plan sound not bad leh. at a low price tt i pay every yr, i get all the necessary insurance n protection. Girl, help me see on tues if i shd really go get it not. I still hesistating. Met her at abt 3pm at tamp mrt ctrl station then head to sentosa. Wasnt tt sunny yest. Sad loh. Cuz i oso wan to tan. Find myself too fair le. So we play vball for abt 3 hrs or so. I played real badly yest. Haiz.. Muz go train le.. My skills tui bu alot!!!! sad sad.. Still had fun loh. Toilet queue wasnt tt bad yest. Think we waited for abt 30 - 45mins to bathe?? Din go check the time. Headed to bugis aft tt. Din get anything yest cuz pay haven come in yet. Sob.. Helped my bro n sis buy stuff instead. Tt troublesome two! hee. Went Shokudo to have dinner. Famished by then le! The food there was exceptionally nice yest! haha.. Cuz got eye candy there. There's this we think is manager there who look quite cute. So attention was on him thruout the whole dinner. haha. Both of us were damn high! Frm his name on his name tag, we think he's an indonesian. We ended up daring each other to go ask for his no n stuff like tt. Haha. Quite enjoyable n fun yest! We cab back tgt aft tt cuz Van's bf say he'll pay for her cab fare. So i juz hitch a ride loh. Hee.. Then e cab uncle oso v friendly. i think part of it is cuz he's driving e mercs cab. So muz be v friendly to e passengers and provide differentiated service. Diff cab companies muz differentiate e service they provide so as to capture a larger pool of passenger. tt's wat i think. Had a nice talk with e uncle and listened to his funny stories with encounters of a certain grp of ppl. Haha.

Think aft sh end her a lvls, we shd go sentosa again. I miss e sand n e sun. Hee.

2008-11-09T14:19:00.003+08:00

PWC league is over! I'm disappointed! think some of u guys would know why. Haiz.. Life's as such.. Neva mind, I'm going to look for greener patch of grass le.. Somewhere where i would b recognised and somewhere where i can improve and move to a higher level. I dun see any 'prospects' with the current arrangement!!!

Anyway, unhappy stuffs aside. Went shopping with Van on wed 2 weeks ago.. Hee.. Sorry lah. No time to blog and i din have to e chance to use the comp too.. :( Anyways, it was quite fun as we went shopping n i oso help my bro to keep a lookout for those funky skinny tie. Saw a lot of stuff @ Bugis. But pay haven come, so cant really shop. Can only window shop tt day. Saw sandals, clothes & shades too. Bot a pair of shades(those wear for fun de) The whole day was fun with all the shopping n bitchy-ness.. Hee.. Thanks to my dear, lovely girl. We were stopped by those financial consultants frm an insurance firm. We were actually going to head home aft shopping @ Bugis street, but she wanted to go Parco to see stuff. So we went there. Who koes tt there was a roadshow n we 'heng heng' got stopped by them. After that, it was so damn funny! I still look sporty regardless of my dressing. But for Van, she can hardly have the sporty look when she dress up! She forever have e tai-tai look. Haha.. :) We were chatting n doing e survey for the 2 financial consultants who stopped us. One of them was shocked tt Van plays vball.. He went:" i tot u were a librarian loh! u really play vball de?" Van was so pissed while i burst out laughing. Cuz this is not e 1st time ppl say she dun look like those who play sports de. But this is e 1st time ppl say she looked more like a librarian. hahahaha.. She replied:" I PLAY vball DE HOR!!! i vice- cap somemore.. " Me n e other financial consultants were still laughing. Amused by the ongoing conversation between her n e other guy. e 2 of them like ba zi bu he. Though they din koe each other, but tt guy was irritating her most of the time. So free show for me tt day.. HEE!!! Now we see roadshow, we will siam 1st. In case we were stop again.

2008-10-01T19:28:00.002+08:00

Been so packed these few weeks that i dun even have time for myself. Work, sch, netball. My world revolved round these thngs for the past few weeks. I dun even have much time to sleep and rest. I think i shd seriously reschedule all my stuff. If not, i think i'll faint from fatigue soon. Things have not been going smoothly AGAIN!!!!! I do feel myself slipping back to the past. I'm so confirmed this time! But, i've got this new found fren who's willing to be my listening ear n can confide in her if there's anything. Thanks girl! i appreciate it! Well, i'm feeling better now le. Thanks for ur concern yest. So sorry to have kept u worried.

PWC league is starting next wed. I'm feeling abit nervous n scared now. Cuz the teams we're playing against are quite strong teams and it's been so many years since i last played netball. This will be my 1st competitive match after such a long long break frm netball. Nervous yet i'm looking forward to the league. Hee.

I have got to buy new shoes at this time as the current one i'm wearing has gave way. What timing. Gotta go look for a new pair b4 fri and spent money again. Really money no enuf to use! I need my pay real soon! Going to hunt for my new shoes tmr with my fren @ Queensway. Hope can get some real good bargain. :)

2008-10-01T19:17:00.000+08:00

Many thoughts have been going thru my mind for the past few weeks. I’ve embarked on a new journey. It’s a totally different experience. New challenges and obstacles are presented to me. However, I dunno if I’m up to the task not. Juz a few weeks into my new phase of life, i’ve feel the strain le. I need the support and encouragement. At times, I do like giving up. But do I have the choice to do so? I dun wish to revert back to my former self and go thru those difficult times again. However, this time would be so different. I would lack the support i got the previous time. I can feel myself sinking slowly back into that situation. HELP!!!! The symptoms are gradually coming back. Hard as i try to pull myself back to this world, I lack the strong willpower and the desire to get out of it. People might think that my actions are stupid. But to me, it’s a form of release, a way of seeking help. I think I shd seriously consider what my fren told me the other time. It does make sense. I shall go look for someone reliable! At least in times of need, I have someone there to help me and pull me up when I fall.

However, over-reliance on someone is bad. If the person is not able to be there for u at times, u'll juz crumble. It's better to be independent yet be reliant on someone at some times.

2008-07-29T08:33:00.004+08:00

Going to Suntec aft work today for my bag sourcing again.. Abit sick n tired of it le.. Been sourcing for one for such a long time yet no results... Either the bag is far too exp or the design is horrible.. Haiz.. Hope today's trip down to Suntec will be fruitful.. If not i think i shall settle for the NUM bag le.. Exp but no choice le.. Life is such.. I dun feel at all excited nor energised bout going back to sch now! I feel scared n worried rather. Hope everything will turn out well ba.. My nice colleague said tt i can bug her for the whole day on my 1st day of sch.. Hee... She told me if there's anything, can give her a call or sms her... So, I think my 1st day of sch will not be so bad since there's an invisible companion... She's a v v v v v nice lady n i call her yvonne mama.. Cuz she's married with 2 kids n Super caring towards her closer colleagues.. So we called her tt.. Asked her jokingly the other day if she would like to adopt me.. She gave me a funny ans.. "Can.. I dun mind.. But ur tis mama only support u spiritually n emotionally.. Financially, u settle urself hor.." *Bish*.. Time spent at my current company is short.. Only 1 month plus... I really hope they will wan take me as their part-time.. Met a few nice n wonderful colleagues too.. The people here are sure chocolate lovers... I Love them n their chocolates... HEE!! Gotta start work le!

Thanks to Mum n her fren, i got to eat the durians tt's fresh frm the plantations in Malaysia.. They're yummy.. My mum's fren went to his plantation in Malaysia n got us 2 big bags of durians... Haven not eaten such nice n delicious durians.. I think the last time was bout 7 - 8 years ago.. Those tt are sold in the market are not so yummy.. Furthermore, there's lots of chemicals n pesticides used.. Not good for health.. I dun mind waiting for those yummy ones.. Hee.. Been having durian party for a few nights.. As a result, i think i might be 'heaty' soon.. Mum reminded me again n again to drink more herbal tea.. 1st, cuz i get sick easily.. 2nd, i might nosebleed again if i'm too 'heaty'... So she gotta make sure i 'cool' myself down.. Haha.. So no more durians for me for the time being... As suggested by my family, we might go down to Four Seasons Cafe one day for a whole family durian party.. Looking forward to that... E saddest thing is that my ah ma can no longer join us.. She was an avid fan of durians(frm Malaysia de) too..

2008-07-22T10:07:00.003+08:00

In another two weeks time i'll be starting school le.. Mixed feelings at the moment! Happy and scared. Happy cuz I can go back to school life. Scared cuz it's a entirely new phase of life! I have to be more independent than before and face the new and upcoming challenges by myself. I dunno how life would be like two weeks later. Fun n enjoyable or horrible n disgusting??? Mayb i should prepare myself for the worst? I still haven find any job tt can fit my sch schedule! Pray hard! Please let me find a job fast. I really need the income. I wanna settle all this b4 i start school.

Been sourcing for a laptop for the past week. Not much luck so far. Saw quite a few models but i gotta save more! Went to parkway yest with sis n UNCLE. Saw this Toshiba model which is quite nice n light. BUT it's beyond my budget!It's 2000++++. Sobs.. Sis said she'll sponsor a little for my laptop.. So i think by the time the COMEX fair comes (end Aug), i should be able to get that Toshiba laptop. Hee.. Now gotta source for a sch bag.. V sian loh.. Been looking around for quite a long time le but no luck so far. I think i might get Crumpler or NUM bag if i really cant find any other alternatives. Adidas, Nike, PUMA or Billabong oso no new n nice bags. Sian, Sian, Sian!!!! Sch is like starting in another 2 weeks time and i still haven gotten my bag!

I need LAdy LUck! Nothing seemed to go smoothly for me.. Dun spring surprises for me at the last min. I dun think my heart can take it! Juz let everything go smoothly as planned, please!!!!! Answer my prayers.. That's all i ask for! I'm really not asking for much. Is it so difficult to fulfill my these little and simple wishes?

2008-07-22T09:47:00.002+08:00

Filming went on smoothly on last Mon n Fri.. It's quite fun though.. Through this short episode, i have learnt many things. Sometimes, as long as one's determination is strong enough, nothing is too difficult to overcome. I have changed my mindset a little aft tt day. I shall b a little more positive n dun think too much about those things that had happened to me all these years! There are still many people who really need help and more sympathy than me! I really do hope that mum would 振作 and be more brave to make decisions that will be beneficial for everyone. Dun b so selfish anymore! Revenge for wat??? Ur poor children are the most pitiful and innocent victims in the whole 'drama'. Yet all u care is about how to punish tt person! There is no point in us telling you to be brave and move on. Words are cheap! Actions are then the most precious gift. The best thing u can do at the moment is to help yourself so that all that we have done is put to good use. I totally pity the girl! She's quite cute and I loved the time spent with her on Fri. We had so much fun tgt though the time spent was pathetic. Jia you okie? 我相信明天会更好! Hope she love the wallet we bought for her.

I dun mind going for another round. Though it may be quite tedious but i do enjoy the process. Yeah! I managed to hold back my tears tt day. Got improvement. I find there's joy in helping others. It does not only bring smiles to those you have rendered help to, it also bring smiles to myself too. I have decided to go again should they call me! hee...

2008-07-11T08:56:00.007+08:00

Has technology advanced so fast and the people progressing at such a fast pace that more people are getting mentally unsound? It is indeed worrying if the figures are rising. Girl, it's not tt bedok have many sickos.. I think other places oso have.. Mayb cuz we always hun around this area ba.. Tt's why the chances of meeting them higher? I think they ought to b caught n given treatment.. No point caning them or giving them punishment.. I think rehabilation might b the best cure for them though i think the victims would rather they be given the punishment.. However, the emotional scar that these people leave on their victims is permanent.. No form of punishment would lighten or even erase the emotional scar. It'll follow their victims all their life.. Not only that, the lives of the victims might juz change forever.. Some may turn sucidial, some may be violent while some might juz lose confidence in themselves n others. Furthermore, it is not easy to forget the whole incident.. For rape n molest cases, there will be newspaper reports on it unless the victim choose not to report it to the police n let the perpetuators get away scot free. If the case is reported to the police, there will bound be newspaper reports about it for at least a day or two. Even if the victim is able to forget the incident, other ppl would unintentionally remind her about it.. Tongues will wag n there will be a social stigma toward these victims.

I can totally relate to these victims.. Poor them.. Why cant this world be a better place to live in? Many things have progressed and advanced yet there is a decline in the moral of the people. Wat irony!

2008-07-11T08:56:00.006+08:00

Bus fares might increase AGAIN next year as from the news yest. If i din remember wrongly, the bus fares has juz increased not long ago. With such high living standards, it is quite a heavy burden on many people. Now, the bus fares might increase again. This might take a toll on those lower and middle-class families. There is the rising fuel cum oil prices and the food prices have rise too.. Food and oil are necessities to everyone. So we cant avoid the rising prices. However, the public transport is the cheapest form of transportation for those lower-class people to travel around S'pore. If the prices are going to increase now and then, would these people have to resort to walking to get to the various places in time to come? Even if there are subsides or transport allowances given to them, it can only help them for a while. The govt cant be always giving huge sum of subsidies. This would become a chain effect. Expensive bus fares would lead to more transport allowances for the poorer people. The tax rates would increase so that there is enuf reserves to use for the subsidies. As a result, those high and middle class people would feel the heavy burden on them and the cycle continues.

In the past, I din feel the pinch of taking the public transport as i was still using my student card until not long ago. My student card was confiscated though it had not expired. Using the adult card for travelling, it is really v v v v v expensive!! Imagine seeing the big difference in the card value at every tap of the card. Wallet hurts alot. Furthermore, i'm STILL NOT A WORKING ADULT yet!!!!!!!! I'm juz a pathetic student who is working temporary till i start school. So the expensive bus and train fares are killing me! Last time $40 could last me for more than a month if i didnt go out v often except to school. Now $40 could only last me about 2 weeks or so..

If the service of the buses and train are good, i dun mind paying for it. However, there is not much difference. The waiting time for some buses is still as long or sometimes even worse. Though it was reported there will be improvements in the public transport, i can hardly see much difference. Giving feedback on the bus service as wat they called, doesnt help at all! I have complained a few times to the bus company. Many people from my school had called to complain too. However, there was nothing much being done. I've got tis feeling that the operators tending to the feedback are juz protecting their own colleagues. The frequency for Bus 12 is very long even though it was claimed in the SBS website that it would take about 10 - 12mins to come during peak hours. The bus would either come like 10 mins earlier or later than the usual time it would reach the bus stop. It dun happen like once in a blue moon. It happens like once or even thrice a week. Many students and working adults have to take Bus 12 to school or to the train station. Such irregular bus timings would cause many to be late for school and work. When u complain about this situation, the operators would tell u that mayb the bus is caught in a jam or the vehicle broke down or some other reasons.. Dun tell me the bus will juz be caught in a jam or break down once a week. Then they shd do some maintainence to all the buses every week since it'll definitely break down once a week. Sometimes the bus is so packed that people had to wait for the next bus b4 they could board. Sometimes, the drivers arent friendly too.

Service ---- thumbs down
Fares --- thumbs down
shake heads

Service --- thumbs up
Fares --- thumbs down
people would consider the expensive fares as a payment to the good service n would not mind that much

2008-07-02T13:41:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, time passes by so fast yet sometimes it passes by slowly.. I'm wondering how my life would be like in a few weeks time when i start school and oso in a few years time. Would it be something tt i've expected or will it deviate alot? Hmm.. Life is so unprediectable... Work is not so boring at the moment as i have some stuff to key.. Yeah!

Went for my school's orientation yest.. It was not so fun and fun.. The not so fun part was before lunch where we had to play some ice-breakers and listen to some 2hr motivational talk.. My group was not so bad.. As we were still strangers when we meet each other, almost everyone was quiet and shy. so the ice-breakers started off slowly.. As for the motivational talk, i think i only paid attention to it for half an hour.. The other one-and-half hours were spent in the effort to keep myself awake. haha.. I learnt something real amazing thru the talk.. Smoking causes great harm to ur own body and to the people around you. Those 2nd hand smokers would lose 8 - 10% of their IQ! Smoking causes the genitals to shrink by 10 - 20%!!! The more one smokes, the greater ur gentials would shrink.. Look at the damage done if one smokes.. Not to forget the great damage smokers do to those innocent victims who takes in the smoke.. Spare a thot for others if not for yourself!!!!!!! Personally, i dun really like people who smoke. It super disgusting and i totally cant tolerate the smell! I think this message should be brought across to those smokers instead of those disgusting photos tt are on the cigarette boxes. The photos dont really discourage them from smoking.
The games that we played were quite okie.. My team is quite united and everyone is oso very spontaneous.. I think the spider web, the lady webrith games and dodgeball were the ones where everyone is super united.. We helped each other to overcome the obstacles and there were trust between one another though we have juz met one another for a short period of time.. I totally enjoyed the games though i sustained some injuries.. haha.. This is quite normal as i'm quite prone to injuries.. My butt hit the ground during the spidey game cuz there was some miscommunication. My teammates carried me through the hole that i was supposed to go through. When i was over the other side, someone let go of me b4 the person who was holding my legs. So butt down 1st then legs.. Ouch!!!! Got head-on by the opponents during the dodgeball.. tt was quite a painful bang.. Scrape my knee as a result i think.. After the game then i realised i was injured.. Haha. The best part of it was tt the scrape on my knee was in a heart shape... Tt was the most bizarre injury i had.. haha... My fren discovered tt the scrape on my knee was heart-shaped. She and my OGL were laughing n laughing aft tt...

Was so tired throughout the whole orientation... It was quite enjoyable though..

I dunno how i can tahan the long journey frm home to school and back home. I wanna a chaffeur.. HAH!!

Yoga ltr in the evening.. Looking forward to it..

2008-06-29T21:11:00.002+08:00

Recently, there are a few of my frenz going overseas to further their studies. How i envy them. I do wish i can have the chance to go overseas to further my studies. However, it's beyond my ability to do so. Well, i can only stay in S'pore to study.

Sent one of my good fren off at the airport on Friday. Sh'es a real lucky gal! She's going to Aust to further her studies. The course she's taking is so cool! Best of luck to u gal!

Meet up with quite a few of my sec sch frens yest. We went to have a last get-together with a classmate cum fren of ours. She's oso going off to Aust to further her studies soon. Lucky ppl! Had a great time yest as we reminisce the past. Many funny incidents here n there. We oso manage to catch up with one another n had a better idea of wat each other is doing now. I LOVE my SEC SCH FRENS!!! Those 4 yrs were my happiest moments so far. Those moments were oso the most unforgettable time tt i've spent in a school. I dun regret going there as it has moulded me to be a better person. I've learnt a lot there and got alot of precious moments n knowledge from there too.

We have to treasure the many years of friendship!!

(photos will be up at a ltr time)

2008-06-29T20:35:00.002+08:00

There was once i told someone that there's no light nor rainbow in my life. Tt person din not believe me and told me not to be pessimistic. I'm not a pessimistic person but cuz of my background, i think it shaped me in this way. I tend to be a little more negative in the way i see things and i always prepare myself for the worst for everything. It's not good to beautify and think of the best for everything. Sometimes, it leads to more disappointment and one would/might slowly think that life has let them down. Isnt that worse when one starts thinking that life has let them down.

Mayb cuz i'm really sick of life. Tt could be why i dun think much of living on in this world. if juz one day i was to die, there's nth much to hold me back nor there's anything that would make me perserve and live on. I dun feel that my existence did make much difference in this world. Mayb if i'm not in this world, i would feel and be better off. I had been thinking on this for quite some time. However, i still cant find an answer.

I've tried to put an end to everything. However, i failed. I juz dun have the guts back then. If i could do it again, i would have the courage now but whether i succeed or not, it'll depend on fate. U need not feel sad for me or be sad cuz of me. It's a relief for me then. Instead, u shd be happy for me as i've freed myself for all the troubles and can be happy again. The irony of life is always such. There'll be people fighting v hard to carry on living in this world, yet there'll be people who will try ways n means to end it all. Everyone has a limit. If i'm over limit, then i'll juz snap and tt's it. Sometimes, i feel v tired n would wish that i can sleep n rest forever. I'm really sick of fighting on and this place.

Here i am, blessed with a family and so many wonderful ppl. Yet, at times i wish i can be alone in this world or juz have a close kin and some frenz. 我心里有太多结了。我不知道要如何解开它们。很烦很烦很烦! 我好想一了百了，马上就解决! 我是否有这胆量吗？自己逃跑，跑到一个遥远的地方，跑到一个没人知道的地方。那时，你不需为我躁心也不需找我。因为我是存心避开大家的！你们也不要为我难过。把我给忘了，继续你们各自的生活吧!

2008-06-20T16:24:00.003+08:00

Planned my lessons for my 1st semester and settled my timetable. Quite happy. Hope to find a job with flexible hours. So that i can study and work at the moment.. I desperatelly need $$$$..

My sch fees are really expensive and my mum dun really have the ability to pay for my fees and give me allowances. There's still my brother that she has to support and the monthly household expenses. I know she dun mean to nag bout my sch fees. I can understand the stress she's facing. But she has to spare a thought for me too.. I'm oso as stressed. I have to try to find a job with flexible hours asap and earn some money so that i can supplement the household expenses and earn my own allowances. I oso need to spend time n effort on my studies. This path is not easy. To really break out of this vicious cycle, I've to work real hard and prove my worth. If i managed to do well in my studies, my future will be bright. I dun mind not going into local uni. But i totally mind those kaypos and snobs around us! So wat if i cant get into local. Doesnt mean that going into a local uni, u're the best n smart. I dun think that my a lvls results are horrible. I passed all my subjects and i din fare badly for the subjects that i'm weak at.

Please mind your OWN BUSINESS!!! snub at us cuz my sis n i din get into local uni. Unless ur sons or daughters have gotten into local uni then come n laugh at us. Ppl are real realistic. Laugh at me cuz i was frm a prestigious pri sch but din get into a good sec sch.. But i got into a not so bad JC!!! Well, ur son came frm a good pri n sec sch but got into poly doing nursing.. Then u shut up n said that well tt's ur son's interest.. Please.. Dun give such lousy excuse!!! I can oso say i dun wan get into local uni. I prefer private cuz it's better n i have more chances to venture out! it might be true to a certain extent. I'm RECOGNISED in S'PORE n oso in LONDON!!! So dun 狗眼看人低..

I juz wanna earn enuf money to support myself at the moment n do real well in studies. That's the only way to ease the burden off my mother. I dunno if 老天爷 is making things difficult for me. Nothing is going smoothly for me. I've met with obstacles after obstacles, difficulties aft difficulties. 吃得苦中苦, 方为人上人. I wonder how true is this. I find that the more 苦 i take, the weaker i become. At times i think i'll juz crumble real soon. Are these obstacles n difficulties really meant to test me and help me to be a stronger person?? I've been thinking about this question for a long while. I wan take the easy way out but will it shape my personality in another way? i wonder. As compared to many ppl n my peers, i find myself stronger and able to handle things better than them.

I do wonder at times what i would turn out to be if i was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. Would i be a spoilt brat or a pampered princess or one who will take care of others n is v thoughtful? No doubt i dun have to think bout money matters but would i learn the value of money? Or would i spend when necessary n be thrifty at the same time? If i have a rich dad, i dun have to be so 拼 n try all available ways to earn money. i need not worry bout my expenses or the expensive school fees. I can juz work to pass time n gain experience. I dun have to think so much n consider this n that when i go shopping.. I can oso get things that i wan n oso need. i'll have less headache. Mayb i'll be loved more by my parents cuz they dun really have to worry bout not earning enuf to feed the family. Haiz... Yet ppl say that money is not 万能的. I do agree n disagree at times.

Well, i think i shd not think so much at times n work harder. In this way, i'll have a better future n my kids wont have to suffer n have to think about the above problems. Haha.. But i think i'll have to teach them the proper values n the importance of money. In this way, my kids wont be spoilt brats would dunno how to spend money frugally. haha...

Tata.. Knocking off soon...

2008-06-20T16:12:00.003+08:00

Tis is my 1st time being a receptionist. N i dun really like being a receptionist! I'm so bored! there's like nothing much for me to do n i went round 'begging' for work to do. I'm used to having quite a few things on hand to do and not sit there n juz ans call or serve guests drinks. Somemore my company is small scale, so there's not much calls to answer too. So i've lots of time to myself. Occassionally juz open door, send couriers or serve drinks. Hmm.. I can still study econs n read the newspaper if i wan.

Sad thing is that there's no young or cute guys here!!! Not much motivation here! hee... I was still looking forward to seeing cute guys as this is a MNC. But got disappointed cuz the guys here are quite old. Only got quite a few potential sugar daddy. haha.. My boss is not bad. I find the environment here not bad at the moment...

Going back to sch in another one month plus...

2008-06-15T23:29:00.002+08:00

I wanna thank pearly(my job agent).. She's quite a nice person.. Though i've been bugging her for the past 5 months for either my pay or help me get a new job, she neva once got angry with me or was frustrated with my constant bugging... Thanks to her again.. I'm off to my new job tmr!! So happy.. Finally i've a job n can earn money n dun have to stay home...

She really gave me a shock on fri morning.. As i was still sleeping, her call really woke me up.. I've been sending out resumes for the past 2 weeks.. Only a few called me up for interviews.. So i tot it was another call to ask me down for interview n ltr rejection again..

in the end, pearly told me tt there's tis job which is quite close to my hse n i can start work almost immediately.. I jumped out of bed n was so excited for the rest of the day..

Thanks to her.. I'll be off to work again... HAPPY!!! Good night ppl.. Time for bed!

2008-06-15T22:55:00.003+08:00

I dunno if i really made a right decision.. I HATE MY LIFE!! i'm been accepted into UOL's Econs n management.. I dun mind studying there.. If i work hard n persist n get either 2nd class or even 1st class honours, i've a bright future! Howeveer, not everyone agrees with me.. Headache here n there.. I dunno if it's on impulse or not, but there's a great desire for me to end it all there.. Once n for all.. 1st, private uni is not considered as good as the local de, namely NUS n NTU!
2nd, the super duper expensive sch fees.. the job i ve at e moment doesnt pay tt well.. So tt's a limit i can save n prepare for my future expenses.. I WAN MONEY!!!!

Sometimes, circumstances forces us to do things tt's beyond us.. It's not a case whereby one can choose to do it or not. It's a case whereby we have to do it. The differences may only be defined on a thin line..

Ppl say tt i'm too matured for my age n too pessimistic.. But have anyone tot of the fact tt being forced to grow up at a young age n also be exposed to the good n evil side of life since young will have a long lasting effect on a person? Every child is entitled to both a happy n sad childhood. If parents wish to let their child to exposed to more of the good side of life, wat can one do? But if parents decide to exposed the child to both sides, wat can one do? Having suitable exposure to both sides may have its pros n cons.. The child can learn e hard way of life n treasure the stuff n ppl around him. Not only that, the child will also not take anything or anyone for granted. However, if the child is not able to fully understand the ongoings around him/her, there'll be repercussions. So parenting is something tt's profound n requires huge efforts. Well, if a child is too protected n live in a 'fairy tale way' life, then e ppor child might suffer. In this age n time, the world is getting more realistic. If no cert, u cant survive.. If no money, u cant survive. If no job, u cant survive too.. Everything revolves round paper qualifications, money.. No doubt money cant buy kinship.. But if u dun have money, no need talk bout kinship.. We can all see it around us. If u have poor relatives, there's some chances whereby u'll not want to associate urself with them for fear of them borrowing money from u or even disgracing u in front of ur frens n family. Tt's how realistic the world is.. So is not tt i'm pessimistic..

Mayb i'm really sick of life.. I dunno... I juz realised tt the time whereby one need the greatest courage is not when u've to apologise for ur wrongdoings. It's actually the time whereby u decide to say goodbye to this world earlier than expected. Saying "I LOVE YOU", "I'M SORRY" doesnt need much courage. Dun worry.. i think i wont say goodbye tt early.. Cuz i havent muster up tt courage i need.. i failed once so i'm not gonna fail e 2nd time..

It's been such a long time...

2008-06-15T22:34:00.002+08:00

I'm back to blogging again... Disappeared for quite a while... Sorry ppl.. Din have the time nor the mood to blog.. Anyway.. Many things happened during these few weeks... Both big n small matters.. Difficult n easy problems to solve..

I may look strong on the outside but i'm actually quite a weak person.. I can put on a brave front to ease ppl's mind.. Tt's how i was a person for the past many many years.. I'm not fake.. I'm tot to be a strong n brave person to many ppl.. So wat can i do except put on a strong front n let them koe i can still handle the situations on hand.. I'm not ironman or a person who's devoid of any feelings.. I can be happy, angry or sad.. I have emotions and i throw tantrums.. I cry when i'm upset, i laugh when i'm happy n i blow up when i'm irritated.. Everyone has the rights to the above... Doesnt mean tt u're someone more senior then u've the right to the above!!!!!!!

2008-04-20T18:11:00.003+08:00

I'm back again.. i think my only time to use the comp for such stuff like reading mails n blogging will b limited to weekends! All thanks to the 'little emperor' at home. WAt can i do except complaining n venting out my frustrations? I wan to get a laptop! SOMETHING TT I CAN PROUDLY SAY IT'S MINE!!!! i'm desperately saving up for rainy days n future uses! My pay now is quite pathetic but i'll try my v best to save more!! That's my goal at the moment.

Results for the application to uni shd b coming out soon. Hope there'll be some real good news. I hope it'll not b another disappointment! Gotta pray hard n hope i'll be blessed.

Work is much better now as i've met some real nice colleagues. They're friendly, helpful n are always cheering me up whenever i feel down. Thanks to u guys. Through the times in office n the people i meet there, i've learnt quite alot of life lessons and gained more experience. I muz be more brave n confident in myself and my work!!!

Lao 9 pang seh us for the Sentosa trip on Sat. 369 outing to Sentosa was cancelled cuz lao 9 had got a stall at the flea market. In the end, me and lao 3 went shopping instead. And the MOST AMAZING THING WAS TT LAO 3 WAS 12MINS LATE!!!! She's always the most punctual one whenever we meet. I decided to turn over a new leaf and be early or at least on time. We agreed to meet at 12 noon. And i reached there at 12 sharp!!! My 1st step to being punctual! hee.. the whole outing was Quite fun though. Sh bought a wallet but i din managed to get my bottle. I still think heartland shopping malls are still better. Lao 3, dun u think so? We went for the cheap fondue at CS. Not tt bad. At least the chocolate was much much better than e one i had at Kushin-bo. We enjoyed the fondue v much! i din koe tt stall was recommended by a few TV shows. For tt price tt we paid, i think the quality of the food is alreadi quite good! I dun mind going back for the fondue again! Yummy!! (Lick finger)

Mon's coming again n it's time for work! I still prefer my studying life!!

Chocolate Fondue with ice-cream.

Sh with her chocolate-coated marshallow

2008-03-22T11:07:00.004+08:00

been a long long time since i last blog. was so tired almost everyday aft i knock off frm work. Work has been tiring not cuz of e heavy workload. Rather it was due to some ppl who were always finding some stuff to get me into trouble. Haiz.. Finally got e energy n decided to blog a little.. Hee.

A lvl results were quite bad.. Well.. It's over le n i've applied for the various courses for NUS, NTU n SIM.. I shall pray hard tt i can get into local uni.. I wont think about it for e time being.. It's saddening..

Went down to SIM on wed to verify some documents.. Been to SIM once cuz of my sis. The environment there is okie.. Juz abit confusing though.. the journey to e sch is okie provided u go there with someone. If not, the whole journey there is tiring n the place will be v far.

WEnt to Causeway pt n jurong pt to shop with Van aft that.. It's so fun.. IT'S MY 1ST TIME SHOPPING IN THE WEST N NORTH!!!! I feel tt tis is an achievement.. I've been shopping in the east n central area since young ma.. Im not a moutain tortoise hor.. It juz tt east n central area is more convenient for me.. hee.. Well.. Got a lot of good buys there. bot my pumps.. Saw a dress at fasion lab tt i liked.. but it's way too exp! so.. me n van are waiting for them to have sales!! i hope then the dress will be so much cheaper.

however the journey to causeway pt frm SIM was not a plesant one. As it was raining so heavily, we decided to cab down from SIM. To my horror, the cabbie was a weirdo n se pei pei... He started chatting with us the moment we boarded the cab.. THen he crap alot.. I was more interested in the way he drove rather than the conversation.. It was raining so heavily n i cant really see the road ahead frm the passenger seat. So i was so scared tt we would meet an accident as the cabbie was talking to us n looking at us thru the mirror. He was not paying 100% attention to driving. the cabbie told us that his father was swimming in the sea n swam to s'pore as he was being chased by sharks. How can a person escape frm sharks? it was obviously rubbish.. unleass that person has extraordinary powers.. well, for listening to his crap thruout the whole journey, the only consolation we had was a discount of the cab fare! it wasnt tt bad.. hee.. Van, u shd have said lesser than 10 ma! hee.. not e 1st time i encountered weirdo cabbie.. but tis is e 1st time i encountered a real crappy one! THANKS VAN!!! haha...

causeway pt (shopping in the NORTH)

one of the dress tt i liked! (the black belt was added by me as the dress was too puffy!)

2008-03-01T11:17:00.002+08:00

Tis year might not be a 'Happy' birthday for me. i could well be receiving my A lvl results on tt day. If results are good then it'll be a happy birthday. if not it'll be a SAD birthday.

Sis n aunt have decided to celebrate my mum's n my birthday tgt tmr. (mon's my mom's birthday) So we shall go out in e afternoon for lunch n celebration. So it's an early birthday celebration for me. HEE. they wanted to celebrate mine on the actual day. But fearing that my results might be released on that day, they decided against it. I told them tt if results come out on tt day, if it's good, then we go out for double celebrations. If not, my aunt suggested tt we shall juz get a cake n stay home. I think it's better cuz i'll have no mood at all.

Well, my family have so far been quite supportive of me. They gave me strength n have been there encouraging me. If my grandma is still alive, she would have been praying for me everyday. Near the release of my O lvls results tt time, she was praying to the gods everyday for good results for me. In e end, her efforts paid off. It's her small gestures that touched our hearts. tis time, i gotta do it myself. i hope my sincerity would touch the gods and my grandma would bless me.

2008-03-01T10:50:00.002+08:00

Results should most probably be out by next week. Have been on tenderhooks for tis whole week. Cuz i was told tt results was most probably coming out tis week. Haiz.. In e end, no news. Looks like it's gonna be another week of sleepless nights again. Some of my colleagues told me not to worry. Cuz everything has been set. No matter how much i worry, it's not gonna change my results. Well, it's quite true. But actions really speaks louder than words. I've witnessed it. One of my colleagues told me not to worry n be so pessismistic about my results. They're juz nothing. He was quite pissed off with my attitude n stuff. In e end, when he got his results for some accounting exams which apparently he didnt do well, he was quite sad n dissapointed. He wanted to take leave. He was e one who told me to take it easy n be more optimistic. Yet, he was e one who made quite a big hoo-ha over his results. It's easy to talk but it's never eay to do what you preach.

Well, i'm keeping my fingers crossed. I juz hope that my results will be good enuf to qualify me for a place in the uni for a course tt i've some interest in. That's all i asked for. Pls grant me my wish. Ulimately i still hope to have good results so that i can pursue my dream. The path will not be easy but at least i'm willing to give it a try. I've come this far despite all the obstacles. I dont hope that i'll end here. I wish to continue so i really hope to be given the chance n strength to continue tis whole journey.

Work has been horrible. It has mayb gotten worse for this week as all e bosses were off to HK for conferences. Without the authority there, ppl tend to stray. Well, being the youngest n having e least authority there made me an easy victim for bullies. Tis the worst working experience i have so far. No doubt i have learnt alot of stuff at work but the treatment i've been getting was horrible, terrible. I've lost my freedom of speech n movement there. I juz feel terrible working there esp when my manager is away.
Van, u're much luckier. At least ur boss is there to protect u. Even when he's going away, he still sent bodyguards to help u. Hee. Only 1 devil in ur office. Ive like 5 devils in my ofice. Got alliances in my office de. My weapons n armour always running low. Everyday go there work n fight battles.
Well, Cindy is coming back on mon. I think things will get better. Hope she dun ask me for results. Cuz i've not taken it n i dun want to talk bout it for e time being. I'm scared tt i'll break down soon in e office. Haiz.

2008-02-17T12:01:00.003+08:00

belle is not a happy girl anymore..
going to work = going to fight a battle
work = sorrow, horrible experiences n tireness
work = pain, torture

i dread going to work at times now.. cuz i dun enjoy wat i'm doing at all! i've to constantly watch my back in case i've been stabbed in e back w/o knowing it! i'm constantly under watchful eyes too.. i juz dun wan go there n work at all! sobs... 30 more days b4 my contract expires.. by then i hope i can b a happy girl again..

Pics of my Hong kong trip..

2008-02-17T10:21:00.015+08:00

Finally i got e mood n time n energy to upload e photos i took in HK.. Van dun smash ur comp n grab mickey n minnie hor.. hee.. Disneyland was fun cuz there wasnt any ***** ppl.. e food there was yummy.. I love shopping there... There's lots of good buys!! I love HK!! i wan go HK again!

me n sis at e Changi Airport

1 of e temples in HK

sis n bro at Avenue of Stars

me n sis at Avenue of Stars

bro n sis at HK disneyland (with e boarding pass)

us at disneyland (forgot tis character's name)

Christmas parade at disneyland

me n sis with mickey mouse

me with minnie mouse...

me n bro with timon (frm e show, Lion king)

sis n bro in space suit

sis with her fav CHIP N DALE!!

MICKEY N MINNIE MOUSE(s)!!!!

e tall christmas tree in disneyland

us with TWINS (at e wax museum)

me with Yang chien hua

me n my fav cat(in superhero costume)

sis with e big big mickey mouse

taken at e peak (it's super duper cold there)

me n Ghandi (trying to imitate him)

me n Einstein (i'm disturbing him!)

us with Einstein..

Awww.. i love tis....

breakfast at SOGO.. yummy

sis outside hotel with her new boots

1 of e temples in Repulse Bay

e 3 of us at e temple in Repulse Bay

e modern Sampan ride

sis n bro at Macdonalds

Waiting to go to e airport (our last day in HK)

e Converse bag tt i wanted badly

me n e cute little angel

e v yummy mango desserts!!

me n bro at a desserts shop

on e flight back to S'pore (sis had double share of dinner)

2008-01-01T18:33:00.000+08:00

2008 has arrived.. tt means my results are on their way. It's a year whereby i'm on tenderhooks again.. A lvl results will be out in a month or so.. it may be juz a short 1 mth away but i'm afraid of e arrival of tt day.. Mixed feelings at e moment.. I wan to koe n collect my results fast.. yet i dun wan to face e reality of collecting my results. i dun koe if e results are good or bad. i dun koe if i can get into the local uni with my results. i dun koe if my results can get me into a course tt i've some interest in. I dun koe...... questions are pooping up in my mind now n then.. I've struggled long n hard. I wan to take a break n rest. but with new challenges coming up now n then, can i really take a nice long break? 2008 is a new year n things will be totally different.. Spending the CNY n having our renuion dinner w/o my grandma.. i dunno how it'll turn out.. i hope it'll still be good. there might be lesser laughter tis yr. i dun koe..

My wishes for 2008:
1) have satisfying A lvl results
2) good health for e whole family
3) close friends to remain close
4) tone up myself n not be so lazy
5) meet that someone special!

2008-01-01T18:32:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 2008
It's a new year with a brand new start. Leave all unhappiness behind n start the year afresh.

2008-01-01T18:17:00.000+08:00

hey ppl.. i'm back blogging.. sorry bout that.. Started work a few weeks back so it's work, work n work. Din have e motivation n energy to blog. not used to e blogging life. (din get to blog while preparing for exam) Working is so different frm schooling. though i dun have to wake up super duper early but i still have to squeeze with ppl in e train or bus. e morning rush n after work rush is horrible. i wish to be chauffeured to work n home.. then no need to squeeze with ppl n can e luxury of space n time.. i think i'm day dreaming again.. haha..

2008 is here n it's again another new year. gotta tons of things to do.. lots of new year resolutions. but how many of us actually keep up n complete our new year resolutions?? i think v few.. In my memory, i think i only managed to complete 1 year of my new yr resolutions aft so many years of writing them.. hee.. Self-discipline n determination are stuff tt i'm lacking frm time to time.. well.. no more new year resolutions for me this year.. I shall live my live to e fullest n fruitful..

2007-12-20T16:48:00.000+08:00

so glad tt today's a public holiday. got time to rest. hee.. Went to play volleyball n it was fun. it's been a long long time since i played sports n exercise. as it's a long long time since i last played, it was quite scary at 1st. cuz e guys there are v meng. i scared e next moment i'll see e ball in my face so i missed quite a lot of balls as a result. my safety is more impt!! haha.. i'm really a rong yi shou shang de nu ren. Came home with 3 bruises on my knee.. ouch! i went down to receive 1 ball n then 3 bruises came along too.. alreadi tried v hard not to injure myself le. my 2 arms oso red n spotty as result of e long break frm playing volley. well, im used to injuries le.. only scared tt my collegues will get a shock tmr when they see my arm.. haha..
looking forward to christmas cuz it'll bb a different christmas tis yr..

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EVERYONE!

2007-12-20T16:33:00.000+08:00

yeah!! finally got a job aft so so so long.. though van cant join me yet but i still hope she can get e job asap n join me fast.. i'm bored n lonely w/o ur company.. most of my collegues got abit of generation gap with me.. haha... so communication with them not always v smooth... but they v nice n friendly.. it's always lively at e office.. wont feel v stressed up oso... cuz e jokers there will start their 'job' when there's lots of stuff to completed by tt day or when everyone's v busy n crammed up.. i'm changing my office seat again... soon i'll b e only one who had tried almost all of e seats in e office.. haha!!!

listening to some of my collegues, i've a much clearer pic of wat i wanna do in e uni (if i can get into one) there're seriously limited courses tt e uni here offers!!!!!!!!! so i'll have to make e best one out of e worst! worried bout my results though it's still v v v far away!!! at times i do wonder wat can i do n where can i go if i cant get into local uni.. this daunts me cuz if i cant get into local uni then it's a huge huge disappointment for my mama n tt's e last thing tt i wanna do to her. cuz i disappointed her once n i dun wish to do tt to her again. haiz..

now e path wont b easy to walk.. obstacles will be there n there would be more stumbling blocks tt will make whole journey even tougher. i can only walk e path carefully n cautiously n bravely. i'm getting older n e responsibilities on me will be even heavier. I'm no longer a child, a teenager. i'll be an adult soon. e responsibilities tt're going to fall on me is different. i can no longer use e excuse tt i'm still a child, a teenager. i've to answer for all my actions n be responsible for everything. it'll be a tough journey. I hope i'll have e ability n courage to move on n start on this tough journey. please give me e support n strength to start on this new journey.

2007-12-11T19:20:00.000+08:00

My prom photos.. i koe i looked super duper like my sis with all e make-up. By e way, tis is my 1st time with make-up. I dun like putting make-up. Cuz i think natural is e BEST!!!!

2007-12-11T18:02:00.000+08:00

Hihi.. I'm back Frm HK!!! super fun n enjoyable there.. Shall upload e pics soon.. the food in HK is super duper salty!!! i'm quite surprised cuz the ppl there r actually quite conscious of their health. they do take lots of tonics n stuff yet the food they eat r super unhealthy. such irony! haha

took united airlines tis time. i dun really like e flight cuz e whole journey was not v smooth. E taking off n landing were v jerky (took SIA for my 1st trip). but these were compensated by the friendly n wonderful air stewardess onboard namely Eunice n her collegue(i dunno wat's her name, sorry). Their overall service was excellent n they were more friendly than those frm SIA.

e journey home was super duper hilarious.. Cuz of sis. they only served the pork noddles n beef stew. cuz of the many days of beef in HK. i decided to go for e pork noodles instead. Who knows, as me n my sis was seating at e rear of e plane, there was only beef stew left. So i was quite sad when there's only beef stew left. thanks to my strong sign of disappointment, one of e air stewardess, Eunice sacrificed her share n gave it to me. I was shocked n din expect it at all. if tt's e only choice left then it's okie. Well, i appreciated all tt she has done. Thanks so much! She went on to find my sis another share of e pork noodles even though my sis had her beef stew. In e end, we ended up laughing thruout e whole dinner time as my sis had 2 share of e main course n those who went to e toilet was staring at her dinner. (my face nearly burst frm all e laughing cuz i dunno wat happened to my face. it went all red n was burning on e last day) I came back to s'pore as a baboon's butt. haha. i think we were e last 2 to finish our dinner cuz Eunice came over n asked us if she could clear our table. hee. all e laughing prevented us frm eating. My sis n I had such great time onboard e flight back to s'pore.

Yeah! mission completed! I managed to ask them for a photo shoot! Went onboard SIA last yr n i managed to take photo with 1 of e air stewardess. Now, with United, i managed to take photo with 2 of them. hee. It's v cool though those sitting at e back of e plane was looking at us. Sis din wan to take with me cuz she was peeling badly. I told her e lightings on e plane not so powerful to show everything. even me with half a side of e baboon's butt could take a nice photo wat more her. U should have seen me yest. I got a shock myself loh! One side of my face was shocking red while e other side was pink. Eunice n her collegue was v funny n they sort of entertained us thruout e flight back to s'pore.. haha. My sis n I were shocked when we overheard e conversation between them. Both of them were married. they looked quite young. (we accidentally overheard e conversation cuz it was quite loud.)

Well, dun worry bout e photo u guys took with me. It'll b safe n sound with me. I wouldn't play darts with it or post it on youtube or do anything funny with it! So rest assured. I juz wan take photo with air stewardess cuz i think it's quite a cool job. Sis encouraged me to work towards being a air stewardess cuz I've e height n am not ugly. hee. personally, i dun mind trying for e experience. Now i'm hoping that i can get good results tt can guarantee me a place in e uni for e course of my choice. then aft i graduated, go apply to be a air stewardess. If i dun like it or cant take it then i can still go into other jobs cuz i've other qualifications too. Not a bad idea. :)
but most of e air stewardess r v pretty ones, i only scared i dun fit into their category.
:(

2007-11-30T11:20:00.000+08:00

I dun mind going back to playing sports. I may have sustained lots of injuries but i think it's all worth it. It's my passion. Sth tt i love n take pride in doing. Mama has always asked me to stop playing sports cuz of all e injuries i've sustained thruout my 7 yrs of playing netball n volleyball. (2.5 yrs of volleyball n 5 yrs of netball) I've sprained my ankle, both my knees are slightly injured, my poor right hand, tennis elbow, hurt my back n i sprained e muscle in my arm. Bruise my knees alot of times... but all these to me is considered a minor case. but to my mum who is a non-sportsperson, all these injuries seemed to b a big thing. My recent wrist injury tt i've sustained got my mum real worried. My old injury came back. In e end my right hand is doubly injured. As i'm a right-handed, she's afraid tt my right hand will b paralysed due to so many injuries n my active personality. Tt period of time when i injured it n my old injury came back, i was due for competition. After training for so long, how can i give up? I juz went ahead with all trainings n went for e competition. Mama got real angry with me then. I'm so sorry mama.
I've seen e tie da yi shen a lot of times. I think i'm his regular customer for ppl of my age. frens who koe me long enuf would koe of my frequency to see e tie da yi shen.

Well, now aft my exams, i'm having a long long break b4 my results are out n then hopefully uni admission!!!! So tis period of time, i shall rest n let all my injuries heal b4 going back to sports.

I truely admire those 5 dragon boaters who unfortunately died in a frek accident recently. all 5 of them have impacted the lives of e ppl around them differently. They will always be remembered by their loved ones and ppl who have heard about the accident. They are in their prime now and shd be either studying or be filial to their parents or having fun with their frens. Yet such an unfortunate event have to happen to them. It's quite heart-wrenching for their family members. I do understand how they feel as i've been thru the ordeal of the sudden loss of a loved one. The thing to do now is to carry on with life n most importantly live life to e fullest. I do believe tt e deceased would always be watching over their family members from where they are n bless them. So as not to let e deceased down, always b positive n live life to e fullest n treasure those around you. One can neva predict wat would happen e next moment. Neva do anything tt u'll regret it ltr. Aft e sudden loss of my grandmother, i've learnt to really take care of e ppl around me. Be it frens or family. They're the ppl closest to u n share their joy or sorrow with u. so neva treat ur frens or family as dirt or shabbily.
The 5 of them have my outmost admiration!!

Their passion for dragin boating have neva died out since e time they decided to take up dragon boating. one of them was persuaded by his mum to drop out of dragin boating aft 1 of his near death experience. However, he refused due to his strong passion for the sport. Water sports is far more dangerous than those on land. We cant predict how's e water condition is like for everyday and for different places. for whirlpools or pontoons, it's underwater and no one can koe e exact position unless one dive underwater to check it out. However tis is quite impossible as e person would lose his live b4 he could report it. Currents may change directions if e weather suddenly changes. There are many dangers lurking underwaters too. the 5 of them died while doing sth they lived n enjoyed. it's sth tt's soothing.

It is quite cruel to stop or cut of someone frm sth he enjoyed n takes pride in doing as frm my view. Many sports person has sustained serious injuries. Yet, they perserved n worked towards in returning back to their sports. It is not wise to call someone dumb or stupid if they decided to continue with e sport they enjoy doing aft sustaining serious injuries. it's rather bravery and i admire them for e courage n determination.

2007-11-30T11:05:00.000+08:00

I dun feel like a pig anymore.. Went with my sis for a run today at e stadium.. Felt quite tired yet accomplished aft 6 rounds. It's been quite a while since i woke up early in the morning... Gone were the days where i've to wake up at bout 6am to get ready n set off for sch. I do miss those days abit though. Well, i hope i can maintain tis regime n continue with it so tt i would not turn into a pig n oso to keep myself healthy n fit!

I'm wondering if i shd go sign up for it. It's interesting n fun. Bedok CC is recruiting ppl for e different sports. There's vacanccy for both netball n volleyball. I dun mind either. I wan to go back into either one of these sports. I love both sports. the bad thing is tt i'll have to sign up alone. It'll b quite lonely n everyone is a stranger to me then. Sis know a little bout both sports but she is super lousy at both. SO even if we join tgt, she might be separated with me. I think they'll usually wan ppl with experience. I miss those days where i was playing with Changi Simei. Was in Changi Simei netball team! they sure rock and trainings with them were always fun, enjoyable n neva stressful. They neva blamed anyone for the loss of any game. Instead, it's through encouragement n cheering for our terammates tt made e team grow strong n stronger. I was e weakest player when i joined e team. Yet the ppl there neva looked down on me. ( most of them were v experienced ppl who's in e sports for at least 3 yrs) Instead, they helped me to polish up my skills n made me a better player. Aft 2 yrs with them, i sure improved!(was playing WA position in changi simei) I can b considered a sharp n accurate shooter. Cuz of all e trainings my coach frm Changi simei n BVSS gave me. But now, i think if my accuracy can be at least 50%, it is considered a v gd thing. I"m off netball for bout 2 yrs or so le. Cuz my previous sch's netball team was.... Some of u guys would koe the reason. Tt's why i knew how to play volleyball. hee.. Still considering bout it!

2007-11-29T14:08:00.000+08:00

yahoo.... Exams are over n now i'm so slack... Wondering wat to do everyday. Tis sort of freedom, i'm still not used to it yet. Been going out almost everyday for e past 2 weeks. Busying shopping for prom n getting ready for my trip. Well, i feel like a mountain tortoise when i 1st when out aft my exams. It's like months since i hit town n went shopping... Hee. Lao 3 n 9, dun call me mountain tortoise le. I too long neva go out le ma. so alot of place i oso not much impression le... Hee...

I wan go work!!!! No money to spent le... Shall go choing for a job when i'm back! If not, i'll be sooooooo broke le! Mama can be so cute n funny at times. Sometimes, i dunno to laugh or b angry at her.. :)-

Prom is on the 3 dec at GRand hyatt. Hopefully it'll be fun n enjoyable. Cuz my sch's counsel v fond of screwing things up. I hope on tt day, it'll not be a screwed up event. if not, i'll really be wasting my money!!!

Leaving for HK 3 days ltr on e 6 dec. Taking a super early flight cuz tis airline's flight is in early mornings. No choice. Gotta wake up super early n get ready to set off to e airport. Shall sleep on e flight to HK. My 2nd time onboard a plane. It's quite exciting... Hee. Think my bro will be even more excited. His 1st time onboard a plane. He wan e window seat n i'm not going to fight with him for e seat. I nearly fainted when i took e window seat e other time. (Van n shi hui, i think u guys koe e reason why) hee. Hk's quite cold during dec cuz it's winter time. I hope i can take e coldness. Mama ask me to bring more jackets n warm clothings. Cuz i cant take e coldness. but my luggage will b v heavy if i do so... Hmm... Shall go think of a way. I'm going on mad shopping spree if my pocket allows me.. If not, it'll be a mild one. Got 101 things tt i wanna get. Then still muz get stuff for my lovely frens!!! So a heavy burden on my pocket!! haha. going to disneyland too.. I'm pretty excited bout it.. However din hear much +ve comments frm those who've been there. Well, shall see if for myself. getting more n more excited as e day get nearer. Might bump into some frens there cuz they're oso going HK during there.. well.. shall see...

My dear frens, we shall meet up aft my trip!! I miss u guys too. It's been quite a loooonnnnggggg time since we last met.
OBS COOKS! I miss u guys too.. Shall arrange a time to meet n catch up too..

2007-11-29T13:46:00.000+08:00

Yeah... Finally gotten all my stuff for prom... So happy..
Sort of regretted going for prom. It is really a waste $$$ event, unless u're super n flithly rich. If not, it's plain waste of $$$. Haiz. It's now too late for regrets though. Juz enjoy myself on tt day n make e $ spent worth... If not i'll be letting myself down.. HAHA..

SPECIAL THANKS to my 2 LOVELY LAO 3 n LAO 9 for all their help!!! W/o them, i would have quite a difficult time in getting all my stuff. They went with me to shop n look around for my prom dress n all e other stuff. We had lots of fun time tgt. Thanks for all e suggestions which i think i took all of it. hee.. I wont forget u guys when i'm in HK. any special request tell me hor. I try to fulfil it!!!

2007-11-18T13:05:00.000+08:00

It's been a long time since e sides below my ears swell. I woke up at like 3am plus only to discover the swellings n i couldnt open my mouth. In the end, struggled for so long b4 i got back to sleep. Went to see e doc n he say most probably mild case of mumps (medical term is pertilisi bilaterial, i think. Couldnt read e doc's handwriting v well) . I got a shock when he said MUMPS!!! i tot A lvls gone case le. How can i go take paper on tues? Ltr aft knowing tt i got e vaccine, then doc say juz mild case nia. Eat medicine to bring down e swell n by tues should be okie. Couldnt eat much for breakfast. The pain was quite unbearable. Well, hope tt i'll recover fast. Doc say take vaccine no 100% sure will not get mumps one. still got slight chance.

Yeah!!! Exams are coming to an end soon. Tues will be my last paper le. I'm super duper happy. By then i'll be a happy n carefree girl. No worries about exams n trying my best not to be late for sch. I'm looking forward to tues. After exam, Going to look for job with 369 n shopping for my prom stuff aft tt. Meeting sis aft she knock off on tt day. yeah! Wed, Kbox day with 369 again. WE juz loved each other's company. Lots of fun, joy n laughter..

Should be going to shop for prom stuff n stuff needed for my hong kong trip in e weeks to come. Excited yet disappointing bout e prom. It's where classmates have fun n spend e evening tgt. I've neva gone for prom b4 so tis is a new experience for me... So super excited. Disappointing cuz ... van, i think u should koe e reason ba. I dunno wat happened. It happened so suddenly n randomly. Mayb i'm too sensitive? I dun think so. Dun always try to deny n find excuses. most of e time, it'll juz backfire on u.

Shooping with van, looking for jobs with 369, outings with frens, shopping for prom n hong kong trip, exercising... My activities aft exams!!!!

2007-11-06T19:17:00.001+08:00

i dunno leh.. though wat u say is quite right. I only have eye-liner n mayb foundation nia.. Hee.. i see those pro ones always have e baboon-ass effect. Then they put e make-up so thick till u'll need to scrub ur face to remove them all.. i'll look like a ghost.. I prefer light make-up n e natural effect that make-up can have.
i saw felicia chin's make-up on mag. She's endorsing for silky girl. V nice n she look so natural even with e make-up. Not so thick oso.. I show u tmr e mag.. V nice loh.. Love it.. We go hunt for e make-up artist n see how is their 'work' piece.. Hee.. If tt make-up artist is good n okie then i'll opt for e pro one.. if not, u shall be e one le!!!

Study hard at e moment..

2007-11-06T18:58:00.000+08:00

Halfway thru my A lvls le!!! So happy... It was alright for e papers i took so far.. However, i think my chem is totally screwed up.. Din have good feeling for paper 3. Working hard to use my paper 1 & 2 to pull up my overall grade for chem.. Next up is econs paper 1 & 2. Muz work towards my goal!! Nothing is impossible. I will achieve my desired results!!!! I can, i will n i must!!! Golden words frm my sch's principal.

I dunno if my choice will be e best one or e right one. Watever u told me does make sense but i need to consider everything carefully. I might not be able to think sensibly. I do hope that watever it is, u're e right one. I dun mind waiting. But dun let me wait for nothing. Upon hearing it, i'm happy. Dun let me be happy for nothing. Heart n mind do have different roles n they play a significant part in different circumstances. they can make one lose everything or gain something. I'll wait if it's worth the effort.

2007-11-04T13:32:00.000+08:00

Hey... i'm oso looking forward to our sentosa trip n k-boxing outing... Super excited n looking forward to them... I realised that exams are coming to an end soon... V fast loh.. After next week, my papers all quite relaxed ones except econs... Praying v hard that i wont screw up my chem!!!! Econs got more confidence now. Shd be able to get an ave grade ba.. Ms loh, i muz not disappoint u!!! Hope maths will be great too..

I'm conservative, i admit.. But now i trying to change my image le.. Mama v protective of me ma. She dun let me wear those type of clothes ma. I oso v guai wat, listen to my mama. So cant blame me loh. Hee.. :) Dun worry lah. U'll most probably see a new me then. U got see me wear tube dress outside my hse b4 leh. V fortunate le. Even my sis dun get to see. She only see me wear inside e hse nia. Hee.. Mama now more open le. She allows me to wear tube or halter dress.. Hee. I told her i wan wear either one of them to my prom then she say okie! So aft our exams, we shall go shopping for my prom with my sis... Got 2 consultants, i shd b okie le!!! :)- I oso dun really wan go to those professional make-up artist. Usually they'll make e person look so fake or like e baboon's butt.. haha... i prefer light make-up. Van, u help me with my make-up too!! got more confidence in u..
I dun wish to opt for ur version of e best-dressed!!!! it's so free show loh.. Like that dun wear anything even better loh.. Can save $$ on buying the dress...haha..

Study hard ba!! Jia you!!! WE WILL DO IT!!!!! WE CAN DO IT!!! WE MST DO IT!!!! (sound familiar? hee )

2007-10-01T17:52:00.000+08:00

Pls en-bloc my area too!!!!! Wat's e use of beautifying the exterior with e interior collapsing soon? the flats around my area are disintegrading. Ceiling collapsing soon. Toilet flushes going crazy n e interior of e flat looking horrible n terrible.

E few blocks around my area has been scheduled for some lift-upgrading programme. (improving the lifts n having lifts on every floor) But i rather they en-bloc it!!! for those families that do not really maintain their flats, the condition of it now is horrible. Like those 1 room flat!!! Not fair loh. e flats around e other side of my area got en-bloc. Then they got nice flats. Newly built ones (looks like a condo)!!! think e amt of money tt was spent in repairing the ceiling of my flat can be saved up n buy a new flat loh!!! e ceiling dunno leak how many times le!!!!! Mummy oso wish for en-bloc rather than having better lifts.

Now, my area here looks like war zone!!! noisy, dirty n messy. Got alot of foreign workers too. Somemore they sleep like at e void deck in e afternoon. So inconvenient. Not one or two. but a bunch of them!!! muz detour to get home. Imagine u wearing a skirt, walking near those workers who're lying on the floor sleeping. EEKS!!!!!! if too late, oso cant walk near e construction area, u neva koe wat can happen!!! So inconvenient!!!! Noisy!!!!! Dusty!!!!! Still muz bear with it for bout a yr or two!!

Bro lucky cuz he no need take O lvl!!! Sis alreadi finish her uni edu. But i still got to take A lvl tis yr!!! Determination n Concentration!!!!

Gogogo ~ Gogogo ~ Gogogo ~ Gogogo ~ Gogogo ~ Gogogo ~ Gogogo ~ Gogogo!!

2007-10-01T17:27:00.000+08:00

I dunno for tis prelims if i've improved or done as badly as ever... for some subj, i'm certainly v happy that i've made an improvement. but for some, it's utterly disappointing... Haiz...

Failed chem terribly... I dunno why. Spent so much time n effort on it, yet, it's e WORST!!!!! Phy, i'm okie with e result, considering the time n effort spent on it. Maths, nothing much. Gp, happy that i maintained for pp 1. Pp 2 was horrible though. Econs, e happiest of all.. I finally passed my econs. So far, econs was my only worry. Even ms loh was scared that i cant make it for econs. e love for econs was like totally not there. Told ms loh a million times how i HATE econs. I cant make much sense bout econs(though econs is all bout common sense) and nothing goes into my brains for econs. If i did manage to finish e whole paper, most probably could have gotten a D ba. Wasted. I'm happy for econs. Juz gotta continue n work a little harder for econs now. as for chem muz work doubly or even triply hard for it. Maths, gotta make less careless (stupid) mistakes n learn how to twist my brain to look at qns differently. Phy, gotta spend more time n effort on it. As quoted frm mr tay, "though phy is ur H1 subj, it's still worth 10 pts for an A. dun neglect it." Gp ar, it'll be work hard + miracle.

i do believe in praying hard n miracles. It really work. For me, it's really a miracle plus constant praying n hard work for e results i got during O lvls. My grandma used to pray everyday to e Gods for protection n bless me in all my exams. Aft exams, it'll be to pray for good results n blessings. With her constant praying, miraculously , i did well for my O lvls.

Now, no more praying by my grandma. but I believe she'll bless me from wherever she is. I believe in miracles too. I'll be taking my A lvls in bout 28 days' time. I'll juz work hard for e time being. All the best to me. All e best to those who're taking their A lvls tis yr too.

believe in myself ~ believe in miralces ~ believe in myself ~ believe in miracles ~ believe in myself!

2007-09-26T19:01:00.000+08:00

It is indeed true tt a friend in need is a friend indeed. This is v true. Ppl tt one can consider as friends are those who will neva ignore u and will be always there for u no matter wat.

Fair-weather friends are those who stick to u as u're of some value or either there's some benefits in being ur friends. They're also those who will be the 1st to turn their back against u when u're in trouble or when u need someone to talk to.

Friends love n care for one another

I've met backstabber friends, hypocrite friends and fair-weather friends. They show their true colours much too often. Thus, for me, due to 'my experiences' it's not tt difficult to know who they are. Well, treat others the way u wan them to treat u. I live by this philosophy. How u treat me, i'll give u back the same treatment.

Well, i shall not let such ppl spoil my day. I'm happy to have good friends who will stand by me and show concern to one other. I oso feel proud to be their friends. They can read my mind. When i'm sad, i dun have to spell it out. They automatically will koe tt i'm not in a good mood and cheer me up.

Van, thx for the card. (though it's not even a chemistry eq) Geraldine, thx for being there with me tt time. U two are much appreciated!!! :)

Ying yu, dun worry. I'm much better now n will chiong for the last part. Anything shall find u or shu jing n rant everything out to u two. Hee. I've been trying to look on the bright side. I'll always rmb Miss Peh's last words. Though it was short but they have a significant meaning. I'll be like her. Strong n neva give up. Fight on the battle no matter wat.

2007-09-24T18:31:00.000+08:00

I'm afraid of failure..

I'm not afraid of pain.

Pain has accompanied me thru my life so far.

Failure struck me a few years back.

Can pain be used to numb the feeling of being a failure n disappointment?

Mayb it's worth trying.

Am i a failure?

2007-09-21T10:45:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was e last day of my prelims... Yahoo... I"ve a long weekend to rest b4 starting my engine again.. Life is difficult as a JC student.. Esp when u dun like e sch u're in... Tt's worse... Well, bout 1 more mth and i'll graduate frm tis sch and tt'll be true freedom... Bear for tt 1 more mth and i'll be a happy person again..

Slept for 4 hrs aft i went home yest.. Felt v refreshed aft tt. It's been such a long time since i last had a wonderful sleep. Soon it'll be back to my daily routine of sleeping late n waking up early. Time really flies when u're in J2. Before u can finish tis task u've another one coming right up. No breathing space.

I'm scared n worried. I fear tt my hard work might not be paid off in e end. Such uncertainity is demoralising. Miss devi, i'm so sorry. I dont know wat happened to me during chem. I din black out tis time. For pp 2 i tot i still had quite alot of time until e teacher said last 15 mins. But tt took me 5 secs to realise ya last 15 mins to finish 4 pages. so far, i think my chem is e most disappointing paper. Haiz...

Work harder next time n have better time management!!!!

2007-09-04T19:33:00.000+08:00

Last leg of everything... Juz work hard, be more determined n everything will turn out well... tt's e motto i've gotta abide by till e end of A lvls.
Paper chase is heating up. Without tt piece of paper tt cost only a few cents, one could end up jobless n be poor for e rest of their life unless they can get tt piece of paper. W/o e relevant degrees n certs, u cant really survive in S'pore. This is 1 reality tt everyone muz face up to it. In schs, teachers tell their students tt academic achievements are not impt. E development of each individual n e cca achievements are as impt. However, if one don't have tt academic achievement, it doesnt really matter if u have cca achievements or watever not. It's sth tt quite evident in S'pore. No good results, no good job or sometimes no job at all!! Try getting into a sec sch or jc or poly or even e uni when u have poor results but have v good conduct n teachers comments n cca records. High chances are u'll be rejected by them. Wat more getting a job when u dun even have a proper degree. Who'll want to employ u?? u can still survive if u have not so good results or just below average results plus all e other good stuff tt i've mentioned earlier. Mayb still got high chance compared to those with poor results. Wat an indirect way of getting e students in S'pore to be an all-rounder. no matter wat, to survive anywhere not just in S'pore, one muz have lots of qualifications, degrees n all e good qualities tt employers look out for. In this way, one can then land in a job with good prospects n enjoy good life aft tt.

All this explains why more ppl are diagnosed with mental illness and more children are experiencing high amt of stress at a young age. How can one take it easy when almost e whole world is gearing up and moving forward at such a fast pace? Sucidial rates are getting higher, more ppl are admitting into e mental institues and higher no of ppl are seeking psychological or psychiatric help. this is worrying statistics. Ageing population and low birth rates plus increasing sucidial rates, this is a cause for concern. Based on this, i'm more certain tt i want to take up psychology! (provided tt my family will approve) This was my dream when i was in sec sch. If these ppl seek help early n there are more proper avenues n more professionals for them to seek help, they too will have brighter days ahead. ppl dun really dare to seek help as there's still e age old mindset tt if one seek psychological or psychiatric help, tt person is crazy n should be admitted into IMH!!! this mindset has to change n more ppl shd be more open to seeking help frm such professionals. They're juz like angels tt are being sent down to help e mankind. Parents shd oso not stress their young children too much. Let those young children enjoy their few years of childhood and not terrorised them with lots of tuition n tons of practice papers. Young children should be exposed to reading. Through reading, they can gain e various knowledge and this can help them when they grow up and cultivate e love for reading too. Let those yong children read n enjoy their childhood. Sometimes, too much of sth might have adverse effect and one can hate it instead of developing a like for it!

2007-09-04T19:13:00.001+08:00

Without u guys, i doubt i'll enjoy myself in this sch. It's been a real torture. Thanks to u ppl, u brightened up my days in sch and brought much laughter to all of us. I'm happy. I dun have so much regret going to this sch as compared to when i 1st entered e sch. Life there was horrendous and e sch system simply sux!

This is one of our enjoyable moments... with juz e 4 of us n some last min plans to celebrate bijun's b-dae. At 1st it's supposed to b e whole gang involved. In e end, juz e 3 of us celebrating her b-dae + her sis n family...

birthday girl(bijun) cutting her cake

swan, bijun n sheryl with e 'bitch' balloon

bijun, greedy sheryl n me

We think tt it's was quite a success considering e time we have to plan n all e last min changes thx to ppl dropping out of e plan. think we changed our original plan bout 3-4 times b4 we actually came up with another plan n procced with it. Wat can one expect given such a short time frame? U guys screwed it up not us!!! anyway, we had so much fun tt day even though there was just e 3 of us!!! Bi bi oso loved e cake n was happy. So were we!

2007-09-04T19:01:00.000+08:00

sorry.... it's been such a long time since i last updated my blog... e laziness + tiredness + no time tt's why no news frm me... actually round this period of time, i would be busying myself with tons of revision n consultations n all e mugging.... so hardly will have anything exciting happening. i just hope that all these mugging n effort tt i've put in will enable to see like quality results. This is what all those ppl who're taking their A lvls hope to see... I'm no exception. This is worse as compared to tt time when i took my O lvls. Less terrifying n stressful. This is like a nightmare n a story tt's waiting for us to complete its ending. It'll turned out having a happy or sad ending will depend on how much hardwork we put in and how we perform on our "big day". Haha..

Sianzz....

2007-07-12T18:48:00.000+08:00

CT juz ended not too long ago... Results came back n i super disappointed in myself.. The only 1 that i was at least okie with it was GP.. I passed my GP papers for e 1st time ever... Keep up the good work!

However, the other subj were horrible... Felt so stupid aft seeing my paper n reviewing them.. How can i b so dump to throw away marks.. Careless, see qn wrongly, neva read qn properly.. How dump can a person b? No pt procrastinating now.. I think i should learn frm my mistakes tis time n learn to see qn properly n ans e qn... Prelims coming up.. Hope i can do better n not make such dumb mistakes.. I'm not sad over my results.. I juz felt disapointed in myself.. I didnt study tt hard but e effort put in is enuf to get me decent grades... But i ruined it myself... Haiz...

Next goal... Do better for prelims.. Study! Study! study! Practice! Practice! practice! Muz cut down on tv time.. More determination n motivation.. I can Do IT!!!!! Yeah!! I believe that i'm capable of doing better.. I've not reached my max potential yet.. Like wat miss devi says, i'm capable of doing well for chem.. Be more confident.. I hope she really meant it n is not consoling me..

I might disappear again soon.. Cuz exams coming n i dun think i'll be coming online so often.. Sorry ppl if my blog died again... Hee....

if anyone got wu zun's poster, can give me? hee... my motivation...

Pics

2007-07-02T12:23:00.000+08:00

Outdoor theme park

Our bus

Sis's new shoes (frm converse)

Food!!!

Thick mist

All of us (hotel resort)

At 1st world hotel

Weird machines ( i oso dunno wat it is)

2007-07-02T11:10:00.000+08:00

June holidays wasnt that fun..... There was sch, extra lessons, n hardcore mugging..... nearly went crazy during the june holidays.... Luckily, my mum planned to go 4 a short holiday during this june holiday.... If not, i'll really end up going cranky....

We went Gentings highlands for 3 days.... it was so fun, cooling n shiok..... the weather was so lovely n cool.... so much different frm s'pore..... i simply loved e weather there.... However the food there is quite horrible.... it's either yucky or salty to e max.... 3 days deprived of edible food.... sobs.... e theme park there is beyond me.... all high elements rides.... juz by looking at e rides gives me e creeps le.... 1st day wasnt so nice cuz my mum din allow us to venture off on our own.... in the end, we follow her frenz round the shopping mall.... We almost had to go with them to watxh FEI YU QING'S PERFORMANCE!!!!!! oh my god!!! I freaked out when my mum asked us if we wanted to go watch his performance with the rest!!!! Luckily some of her frenz din want to watch and we continue with our shopping spree.... Phew.... Imagine watching tt performance n my whole trip would be ruined!!!

Mum bought each of us a pair of converse shoe.... hee... It was much cheaper over there so she bought it for us.... however, addidas n nike shops over there was a disappointment.... Small range of goods and it's pricey. so din get anything there.....

2nd day, aft much talk by her frenz, my mum allowed us to venture off on our own.... Yahoo.... cuz some of them going casino and casino only allow adults of 21 yrs n above. So me n bro cant go..... there were some who wanted to go theme park.... n tt's out of bounds for me.... In the end, my mum allowed us to go shopping on our own.... It was so fun.... We went out of the malls to enjoy e cold, cool breeze. Then off to the arcade for lotsa of fun filled games..... meet up with rest during lunch time. we went to this shanghainese restaurant n e food there was still passable.... i quite liked e way they cooked e fried rice... quite special.... Sis's salad was gigantic.... After tt, went back to e hotel to rest n get ready for the adventure time in the evening.... hee.... Cuz the adults going for dinner buffet n kids din have special rates (e food was quite expensive). aft much assurance n little pleading, we were left on our own again..... went to e arcade again for 2nd round of fun and roam round malls looking for chewing gums..... hee... cant find them in the shooping malls.... settled for budget dinner as e food there quite expensive.... even e macs, KFC etc was much much more expensive than s'pore's....

Last day was nothing much.... CAm whoring and walking round malls.... Venture into other hotels round the area.... Looked for Watsons in hope of finding wat we wanted.... To our disappointment found nothing.... however aft much of my curious nature, went up ahead n found a news stand and found wat we wanted!!! bought our stuff n continue cam whoring till it was time to check out....

Felt sad to leave... cuz back in s'pore muz chong n study for CT.... haiz....

2007-04-22T13:18:00.000+08:00

Tmr is my ah ma's 1st death anniversary.... All these 11 plus months have not been a wonderful journey.... the lost feeling, the internal struggle inside me.... It all happened too sudden and e wound is still fresh... All these seemed as thou it happened juz yesterday.... I dun think life would be e same as ever.... i cant be e happy girl i used to be... No one will be here to offer me advice n cheer me up and be my listening ear... I can try to control my emotions... but there's always a limit.... I'm not strong... Thou i may look strong on e outside, but actually i'm not at all.... I'm afterall juz a human being.... I cant hide my feelings well.... thou i may say i'm okie but everything is shown on my face.... N i totally hate myself for it.... Why muz i always betray myself????

On thurs (in sch).... I totally hate myself for it..... Why cant i juz control myself n be strong??? Why???? Why muz ms choo talk about such stuff??? Sickness n death is all part n parcel of life.... It's not wrong... But her talk opened up my wound n caused more pain to me.... I tried to control myself during assembly.... But there's always a limit..... i couldnt hold it any longer..... I'm juz weak!!

I koe i have to learn how 2 let go... Only then i will be able to feel better and my ah ma will then be able to go in peace... but i juz cant do it.... It's too much for me to bear. At times i can feel that she's near me esp when i'm down or need help... everyone's putting a up a front... Everyone act as thou they have gotten over it n accepted reality.... But in actual fact, no one had done that....

Can i control myself tmr? can i put these behind me and not think about it? Can i put in all my 110% effort n concentrate on e game? Am i able to do that? CAn i conquer myself and emerge victory??? I'll really try my best and winning the game tmr will be my 1st priority!! All the others will have to wait till we've finished e match!!

e special r/s tt we once shared is beyond anyone's ability to comprehend.. it cant be put into words too... u asked me tt qn yet i dunno how to answer u... it's juz a special r/s tt was given to us n we all treasure it v much... tt's why e scar is so deep and e pain is so much to bear...

IT"S HERE!!!!

2007-04-18T19:50:00.000+08:00

oh my god... in the twinkling of e eye, the Nationals are here..... i'm v stressed for e past week.... got so much hw plus tests plus trainings..... almost went crazy..... finished the pink panther thing (some econs report).... however, trying to finish this report.... i failed my phy test... no time to study n slept too late e day b4.... sobs.... was so disappointed in myself.... mr tay, i'm so sorry.....

Tmr 1st match.... against CJC.... Argh!!!! Girls.... Let's all put in our best n play our best.... pls calm me down b4 tt..... i've to learn how to relax myself so tt i wont screw up.... Jia you... u can do it.... Muz rmb all e stupid mistakes i made.... correct them n neva make e same stupid mistakes..... tis is e goal i set for myself.... tonight muz sleep early n be prepared for tmr.... No more weird dreams tonight.... hee...

Hope my hand is fine tmr..... injured my wrist quite badly.... then elbow's old injury came back.... but tt one not tt bad.... Hope tmr no pain n i can play well..... Jia you jia you.... GOGOGO!!!! WE CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!!

POOR HAND!!!

2007-03-31T14:05:00.000+08:00

Training on fri was sweet n fun... As usual had fun with e volley girls.... we could use e hall... tt's e best part.... My mi-mi was injured.... hurt her thumb... then ltr cindy hurt her shoulder(old injury).... was e "sinseh" for e 2 of them.... i dun mind majoring in TCM n tui na.... at least i have e flair in it.... haha.... mi wrist got frm bad to worse.... damn paiseh on fri loh.... went to pu qiu so many times till my wrist cant tahan... then e last time i pu qiu i fell flat on e floor.... cuz my wrist 'gave way' n i got no time to use my left hand to support myself... but too pain le so din bother bout worrying who saw it n how un-glam i fell.... haiz.... hope my wrist can heal fast.... e sinseh say i muz rest well n no pe for 2 WEEKS!!!! yahoo... so happy... i not only injure my joint but oso injured till old injury.... it's so bad cuz old injury aggravated.... then e old injury oso not easy to heal... e sinseh say if dun recover fast then i cant go competition too.... i was stunned when he say tt i mayb cant go competition!!!!! OMG!!!! tt's wat i'm training so hard for!!!!!

i've to protect my RIGHT wrist n not aggravate my injury further.... whole hand swell till like pig trotters... mummy was shocked when i shoed her my hand.... i din koe my whole hand swell... wear guard so cant really see much... only saw tt my 5 fingers swell nia... only during dinner then mummy told me then i knew.... i cant move my wrist much!!!! n e worst thing is got so much hw n next week a wonderful week .... got at least 4 tests!!!! out of which 2 are GP n Econs... how to write fast??? torturing loh....

hand swell till so fat le then plus bandage, OMG!!! super fat n obstructing.... haha... Vanessa, i think u see my hand u'll lol!!! ppl, we gotta take really good care of ourselves hor.... muz prepare lots of guards for e mi-yan er ren zu... haha... e both of us got quite a no of old injuries n quite prone to injuries.... hee... JIA YOU JIA YOU!!!!

i like e Indian Dance's costume... quite nice... All e best ppl for ur SYF!!!!!

2007-03-29T20:08:00.000+08:00

yahoo..... CHEM SPA skill C&D finally over le.... so happy cuz i knew how to do e calculations.... Thanks Miss Devi for ur help.... hope my Skill D will turn out fine too....

Next week got lots of tests n i GOTTA STAY BACK IN SCH TILL QUITE LATE EVERYDAY!!!!!! sad life loh.... even my precious rest day also taken up by remedials.... sobs.... well, trying to think on the brighter side.... these remedials help me to do better for my As..... gogogo!!!!!!

Fragile, delicate or wadever u can think of.... n tt's me.... haha.... went to OBS n i was e only 1 in the grp with lots of injuries + blisters + cuts...... now.... my back hurts badly.... my wrist also injured... e worst things is tt it's my RIGHT wrist tt's injured... it's swelling... was handicapped for a few days.... sobs... i gotta recover asap cuz competition coming real soon.... pressure!!!!

vb gals... let's all jia you n chiong tgt... last leg b4 e competition.... we gotta prove ourselves n show those who despise girls tt we oso can do it one... JIA YOU!!! JIA YOU!!! JIA YOU!!! really had great time n lots of fun during training.... FUN n LAUGHTER everytime during trainings.... hah.... there's da sao, mariam, jellyfish, chang e in the team.... more to come..... haha.... last wed's training was e best.... we were practically a bunch of crazy ppl.... laughing n laughing thruout e whole training.... girls... let's steady ACE!!!!!

tmr got training.... hope my hand will b better n i'll b able to spike n do more stuff.... go girl....

2007-03-13T11:04:00.000+08:00

holidays stared le.... But i dun feel at all like it's e holidays.... except tt i dun have to wake up at 6am to go sch... i still have to go sch almost everyday..... today got break.... went sch yesterday for maths test then lecture..... WEd going back sch for training & consultation..... Thurs going back for consultation.... Fri training again n mayb consultation too.... Sat n sun go study..... Wad a busy week rite? There's more to come.... I juz hope i can make the most out of tis holiday.... Cant b lazy anymore..... Muz start engine n go full power le.... if not i'll suffer ltr n regret all my life!!!! I dun wan tt to happen at all!!!!! I need motivation n motivators!!!!

i'm not sure if i made e right choice to go for prom.... I half heartedly want to go n not wan to go.... simple reasons.... haiz.... I'm juz afraid tt i made e wrong choice.... haiz... sis told me tis morning if i'm going prom, can go shop for the stuff now.... cuz she saw quite a few gowns.... i saw a bag n she said she'll get it for me.... hee... she told me not to go get the gown nearing the end of yr.... Cuz most of the gowns are evening gowns le... too elaborate n formal for a prom.... somemore it'll also b v expensive too.... quite true thou.... haiz... shall see bout it then.... if really wan n things r confirmed mayb go see during june holidays??

DUn always think of unrealistic stuff can.... be more mature pls.... it's torturing for me!!! Spare a tot for others if not for yourself.... OMG!!!!!

sweet....

2007-03-13T10:55:00.000+08:00

last week was quite a busy n tiring week.... almost couldnt make it till today.... tests, SPA trial, trainings, tons of sch work etc..... i screwed up my tests, SPA trial..... wat more could i ask for man??? horible, terrible, corrigible n vegetable.... haiz....

At least it wsnt tt bad.... had 2 wonderful bunch of ppl who celebrated my birthday with me.... Thanks to volley ppl who gave me tt surprise "party".... unexpected.... was quite happy with wat u guys did.... Next time dun buy so much glitter can le.... V difficult to was out... Hee... Took bout 30 mins to bathe n scrub everything out.... Lost alot of hair in the process too... haha... Then again.... Thank you guys.... ur made my day..... My family celebrated my birthday in the night... Sis took e video of it..... but she really sux.... dunno how 2 take video... the video got alot of dark images, cant really see much....

Regina, deb, Chern hui n wendy.... thanks so much.... i juz tot u guys were treating me dinner nia.... a simple dinner... afterall so many days le... i was juz saying tt i wanted to snatch tt boy boy's cake only.... then e waitress came with the cake.... Thanks so much.... candles dun taste tt bad afterall... haha....

Thanks so much ppl..... Muacks....

2007-03-04T15:46:00.000+08:00

With all the faculty tests coming up, i barely have the space to breathe. Was sick the past week. Chingay was fun n enjoyable n sweet. It was a super duper wonderful experience. However, the aftermath of it is horrible. Lost precious hours of sleep. Was practically like a walking zombie for at least 2 days.... sorry teachers.. wasnt tt attentive during lessons....

Now with all e faculty tests coming up, i oso cant rest well n much... have to study, go sch n attend cca.... Busy n getting busier life coming up next. Juz hope tt my faculty tests will be okie.... Practice makes perfect. it is true to a certain extent. However, too much of practice n mugging will cause one to 走火入魔... It's v true... muz learn how to 点到未至.... haha...

hope everything will be going smoothly soon.. i wan recover fast... Looking forward to next week.. i cant wait anymore.... Hee.... Wondering wat will happen.... i hope tt sth special will happen. Will my wish come true? I hope so.... Sis ask me to skip training... but i half wan go but half dun wan go... cuz i wan go enjoy... but will my frenz wan go out on tt day? they juz got back their results... Almost all of them quite sad n disappointed over their results... dun wish to bother them.... let them cool down n get over it.... Let's play by ear n see wat happens on tt day... hmm....

i might disappear soon.... as the days passed, i'm left with lesser time... I've 2 make FULL use of watever time i've or i'll lose time n everything... Give it all my best.... Jia you jia you jia you!!!!!

2007-02-19T18:23:00.000+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year to all my frenz...

CNY tis year is no longer fun n nice... It's became lonely, sad n boring.... Even e streets are v quiet.... Tis yr couldnt cab to ppl's hse... Got discrimintaed by taxis.... Sobs... e normal taxis can no longer take 5 ppl le.... if wan cab, muz flag those big ones or call for cab... tt's v sad loh... Govt encouraging citizens to have more children yet they have such ruling.... due to inconvenience, less ppl wan to have children le... if got 3 children then cant take normal cab le... raising children these days alreadi v expensive le. then all e calling of bigger cabs add costs loh.... in e end, no choice loh.. We took bus to relatives' hse...

I wan a big big family... i find tt having small family is not a good idea. cuz my family is small, as a result not much liveliness n stuff... I love fun n laughter... so as e family population decreases then it's really lonely CNY as there r v few ppl left in e FAMILY.... i wan to have more uncles n anuts n more cousins (those who will be v closely knit ones)....

too much slacking is doing me no good....

2007-02-12T18:50:00.000+08:00

Get lost u immature n childish one... STOP disturbing me n get off my back!!!!!! i dun need such ppl around me... today i juz realised tt i'm like a tool for u 2 get better grades.... GET OFF MY BACK!!!!!! ARGH!!!!

2007-02-03T14:13:00.001+08:00

CNY is coming yet i'm not really excited or looking forward to..... tis CNY is quite meaningless for my family.... we have lesser relatives to visit n my grandma is oso not aorund le.... preparing for CNY and e reunion dinner is the best part of CNY for me.... It's e time when all of us come together and spring clean e hse n joke around with each other.... though preparing for reunion dinner is tedious n lots of hard work, but it is v fun..... we would fly home frm sch then would start preparing for e dinner... all e fun n love goes into e food we prepare.... looks like tis yr, it would be a quiet CNY for me... I truely miss those CNY n all e lovely food tt my grandma would prepare.... Wonder wat tis CNY would be like? i'm not e least prepared for it... haven bought anything for CNY and watever preparations is still not touched yet....

Gotta spring clean my room b4 my mum screams at me le.... tata

2007-02-03T14:04:00.000+08:00

Busy busy time is almost over.... I'm still surviving n has survived bout 1 mth of sch.... Congrats me.... Ever since sch re-opened, i've not had a proper rest... There are like 1000 and one things waiting for me 2 complete... the pile gets higher as days passed....
Now, i can rest for a little while cuz next week can slack abit.... hee... Trainings have became a little tougher which is a good thing.... I think i'm clumsy n thin-skinned.... hee.... fell down during training on tues... ouch.... tis is e 1st time i fell gracefully n slowly.... however, the wound on my knee is wow.... bad injury.... couldn't walk properly for at least 3 days.... saw doc on thurs 4 my knee n back... e doc went "woa... how did u fall till like tt?" he oso shocked at my injury... I'm at least on e road 2 recovery now.... but it's still painful..... hope 2 be able to walk properly, run, jump n resume back 2 my activities.....

busy, busy, busy

2007-01-22T22:42:00.000+08:00

all the whinning, complaining, grumbling and watever not is going to turn me into an old granny soon.... i'm not used to e life now!!! All e rushing to sch and hw, tons of hw pouring in everyday and oso of e LOVELY trainings tt i have.... soon, i'm going to be overloaded with all sorts of stuff till i cant breathe.... now, i'm alreadi experiencing the tight schedules of work & STRESS!!!

Nothing is going too smoothly for me... I juz dunno why... I HATE SEXISM!!!!!!!! if u are biased or discrminate against girls, then pls get lost!!!! i hate hate such ppl..... Having been a victim of extreme sexism, i wont be nice or friendly to such ppl..... E bus that i always take to sch is cranky.... but i think e situation is improving? mayb and i do hope it will improve... last week, the frequency and timing of the bus was alright.... so pls keep it that way and world peace... hee... I dunno why i suddenly injured my back.... i think could be of past injury during netball and also e few falls i had at home in e past... this is bad.... esp back injuries.... they tend to take a longer time to heal and i cant go see e chinese physician.... this sux.... looks like i gotta really take v good care of my precious back and make sure it can only get better... no more funny stunts frm me at e moment... hee.... there seemed to be improvements n i do hope e healing would speed up....

I dun like sch.... esp tis year.... it's juz weird and horrible n ..... i cant understand application of integration, organic chem aft amines n amides sux.... i'm lost somewhere aft tt chpt.... econs i'm totally lost in macroecons.... how and wat to do??? help help help..... lectures n tutorials are going on yet i'm totally covered by all e whys and tons of stuff that i dun understand....

i think tt's all i've to whine, complain, grumble about my life so far.... will try to keep u guys update of all e whining, complains and grumblings....

Good night....

2007-01-11T16:41:00.000+08:00

Finally, i have the time n energy to update my blog.... Ever since the late week of dec and when sch re-opens, i hardly have the time to update my blog..... n e reason is cuz i have tons n tons of holiday hw and tests to study for when school re-opens..... Now, my tests are ALL OVER n there are extended deadlines for some of my holiday hw, i can have some breathing space n resting time.....

back to sch.... it wasnt tt fun but at least my ife in TPJC is much better.... thanks to my beloved frenz and obs frenz..... they really made a difference in my lfe..... i seriously enjoyed the time i spent with them.... Saw geraldine in school..... oh my ppl..... she look less like a minah now when in sch uni..... hee... i'm still not used to seeing fred n kong in sch uni..... (i've never see fred in sch till obs. kong is always in his pe attire whnever i see him) Fred looked v smart n formal while kong look v serious.... kong is less exposed now.... haha.... as for diyana, not much difference from last time.... not much happening in sch recently....

topical tests are finally over n i dun think i'll do well for econs n chem.... econs ---- wat is e qn talking bout when i saw the paper.... die le.... chem ---- not too bad at 1st.... when i saw the organic chem qns.... wat e hell..... i forgot some of the rxns.... no hope le..... well, juz gotta wait for e papers 2 come back.... these few days serious mad rush.... 1st, is to rush 2 sch.... 2nd, gotta rush out the holiday hw.....

i wanna complain!!!!! the bus is super irritating and cranky.... it's been almost 2 yrs alreadi and no improvements made.... juz when i tot the bus is getting better, it threw tantrums..... i was waiting for the buz at bout 6.50pm.... the bus came like 6.54pm..... it's okie and i got to sch early or at least in time.... so 1st 2 days, the bus was v good n i was thinking " good... wont be late 4 sch le" who knows, THE BUS DECIDED TO GO CRAZY!!!!! i went to wait for e bus at bout 6.49pm and the bus DIN COME TILL 7.16am!!!!! in the end, late for sch!!!!!!! so the next day, i went down at the same time and waited.... bus still not here..... i din want to wait for the bus and took a train to sch..... switch too many buses le and waiting time too long... in e end, i was almost late 4 sch!!!! reached sch in e nick of time.... Late for sch again on wed..... i took another bus service to sch.... but i dunno why i was late.... the bus came at bout 7.08am and it went quite fast..... but e fact that i was late remained..... not my fault not to reach school on time.... i tried but the bus is always so cranky.... though sch starts 10 mins later, i still leave hse at e same time as last yr..... but i still late..... so the sch muz understand tt loh.... was told that if late too many times might be barred from competitions.... tt's super unfair loh..... well... if the bus still so cranky, then i will really feedback to the SBS n hope that something is to be done.....

Gone were the days...

2006-12-31T15:17:00.000+08:00

In bout 8 plus hours more, the new year will arrived.... bye 2006 n here comes 2007.... it will be a great year ahead i supposed.... 2006 was really a wonderful year as i've great frenz who were always there for me and my new-found great bunch of frenz frm OBS.... 2006 was a super rewarding n fruitful year.... i've achieved my goals for e year, enjoyed myself to e fullest, appreciated all those who are close 2 me.....

2006 will be e year i'll keep close to my heart..... it's has e most happiest n saddest happenings.... Big events happened.... heart wrenching event happened.... happy happenings.... all of these came in 1 year.... it mayb abit too much 4 one to take it.... mayb time will heal all wounds n sadness.... i hope so....

i've lost a great, wonderful n admirable person.... it may be e most heart wrenching event of e year... guess i'll have 2 slowly come to terms with it n get over it.... it came as a big big blow to many of us here..... till now, i seriously have not got over it thou i may seemed to be happy always.... juz hope time will heal all of us here..... she was gone n along came as big bunch of great frenz .... they were lovely n always makes one's day.... tis OBS camp i went for was seriously e best camp ever.... it was where all of us really bonded as one, team spirit n encouragement were seen.... i tot my sec sch prefect's camps were e last of great enjoyable camps.... but i am wrong now... it's a camp where we learnt great things n make great frenz..... i dun regret going for it again n thanks mummy for allowing me to go.... (my mum din allow me 2 go at 1st) well.... tis is e way things had been made to be....

a new year is coming n tt means e busy n horrendous year is oso approaching soon..... THE A LVLS WILL BE HERE!!!! it's most dreaded by most of us here.... 2007 will then b a year of less enjoyment n madness, more hw n mugging n exams + tests...... but if we did manage to get thru tis dark, horrendous year, everything will be great n a bright future awaits us.... let's all work hard n get thru tis horrendous year with colours.....

my new year resolution for 2007 will be simple....
@ most importantly, do well in my studies n pass with flying colours for my A lvls
@ family n frenz to stay happy n healthy always
@ face life with a smile n optimism

lastly, thanks for frenz who were always by my side n those who brought me thru my darkest moments..... without u guys, life will not be as bright as now..... u guys made a difference to my life..... a big big thank you again....
thanks vanessa.... u were a great fren..... more enjoyable moments to be spent together..... muacks....
to my new-found frenz.... really enjoyed those moments we spent together... they were unforgettable experiences..... a big thanks to u guys.....

me n sis bored during e long ride 2 farm found outside a (ladies only) pub in perth

yipee....

2006-12-17T14:27:00.000+08:00

i'm back frm my perth trip.... really enjoyed myself v much.... australia is really a v nice n relaxing place to go to.... i can forget all my troubles n really let my hair down.... i find tt 6 days is abit too short to enjoy n shop around.... din really shop much cuz of tight schedule n budget.... the stuff there can b either quite expensive or quite cheap..... got a few rather good buys.... i love the shops n scenary there.... it's lovely n splendid.... in australia, it can b sunny n u can still be wearing a jacket n feeling cold.... tt's the most ironic part..... the mornings n evenings are super duper cold....

i love australia..... 1st, it's cuz of the way of life there.... everything is slow-paced and the environment there is v relaxing.... 2nd, the australians are v friendly.... they'll ask u 'how's ur day?' there'll always be a smile on them.... 3rd, i liked the country.... there are many places for one to relax n enjoy the nature..... 4th, i love e shops there... there are quite a few shops tt sell unique n interesting stuff.... i dun mind going australia again....

now, gotta worry about all e unfinished holiday assignments n also to study for e upcoming topical tests.... haiz.... i cant wait for my exams 2 be over so tt i can give myself a real break....

neoprints....

2006-12-08T17:39:00.000+08:00

sorry girl.... took so long to update e neoprints... dun b angry... will have more wrinkles.... finally got time 2 use comp le.... hee.... e neoprints are here.... (hot frm scanner)

frens eva....
me n vanessa aft work.... cute???

2006-12-08T17:05:00.000+08:00

time really flies..... it's alreay DEC!!!! holiday assignments not done yet.... topical tests not studied!!!!! help..... sch's re-opening soon.... argh!!!! Nov feels like yest.... tot we had a long long holiday tis time but it turned out otherwise..... tis is e busiest holiday i ever had so far.... i'm bursting soon.... trainings, work, study, holiday assignments..... it's all killing me le.... well, i think i shd stop groaning bout all these n get all work done soon.... if not. i'm really going to suffer.... at times, i really wonder if i can cope with all this stuff.... fear n uncertainity strike me... tutors will not be e same anymore.... can i really cope? i dun have e ans myself.... pls give me e strength n courage to complete tis journey.... i wan to do well n get good results.... i dun wan 2 disappoint anyone.... i alreadi disappointed u guys once n i dun wish 4 it to happen again.... someone, pls help me!!!!

i'm leaving for perth tmr... tis whole 1 week i can finally rest n slow down for a while.... i can finally escape frm the hustle n bustle of life..... tis is e only time where i can slow down n enjoy the fresh air around me.... had been looking forward to tis trip for quite a long while.... i hope tis trip will be as wonderful n enjoyable as how i want it to be.... it'll be e last time i can really enjoy b4 sch starts.... so i have to enjoy tis whole trip to e fullest maximum..... bye s'pore.... perth, here i come.....

Thanks so much.... I'm touched!!!

2006-12-08T16:57:00.000+08:00

hey chern hui.... since u guys left sch le, din hear much frm u guys.... miss u guys alot... esp deb... though she abit violent, scary, but it's fun to have her around... miss all those times where we argue with each other... those memorable n sweet moments....

saw ur testimonial.... v touched by wat u wrote.... i've forgotten tt matter le.... but anyway was glad tt i was of some help then.... hee... been frenz for 6 yrs le... time really flies.... still remenber how we met each other... super weird n coincidental.... i believe it's fate tt brought us together.... aft we met each other tt day, we became classmates then frenz....

guess we should meet up some day n get back to e old times where e few of us will come together n crap n talk... those times we spent together with jia, deb, lina n hk were really enjoyable.... deb, will look forward to crapping with u again.... it's a real good de-stress way... hee....

All e best for ur results..... hope u will get e results u've been looking forward to... anything can always go to ur window n shout 4 me..... i think i can hear u ..... no harm trying.... hee.... hope to catch up with u guys soon....

returning 2 OBS... sweet!!!

2006-12-01T13:35:00.000+08:00

yest was a sweet sweet day.... went back 2 OBS for work.... Saw e instructors.... hee... took e same boat as steven n serene 2 OBS... hee...

serene rebonded her hair n she looked better.... sad thing was tt she cant rmb who i'm.... she only found me familiar but cant rmb who i'm... sad... she intro me 2 other instructors tt i was once her participant.... not tt bad lah.. she is still as bubbly n hyper.... steven cant rmb me i think.... cuz when he was at my station, he din have any reaction..... but nvm... i knew sth more.... hee.... i saw bee yee too... (my ex-netball club mate) she look so different.... think she slimmed down n look more sporty n more tanned.... she remembered me!!!! i was shocked 2 see her there.... cuz we didnt koe she was an OBS instructor then..... welll.... jia you wor.... i dun mind going back there again.... hee....

yest was a super tiring day... cuz aft work rush down 2 serangoon gardens way for my service learning.... cab fare exp sia.... pocket got hole aft cabbing down... well.. no choice.... but it was a good experience... went makan with bobo, sze ling n swan chiu aft tt...then we went shopping for shoes.... i din see my shoes.... sad...

aft all tt we've done, e hard work was paid off... things werent tt bad... but given a chance again, i'll wan 2 do it better and oso 2 participate more directly... i felt that i din do as well as i expected... i dunno why... e feeling was not right n not much sense of satisfaction... am i asking too much of myself?? it's good 2 expect more frm yourself. in this way, u'll then perform to e best of ur ability... well... keep on trying ur best n things will work out better eventually... i need you 2 be by my side... but where r YOU? i'm still on e lookout for YOU....

2006-12-01T13:19:00.000+08:00

Oh my god.... Im getting darker as the days passed.... frm the fair pale me to the dark - tanned girl now.... i cant recognise myself anymore.... when i met up with my class yest for service learning, the 1st thing i heard frm my fren when i went in was " peisi!!! why u so dark now??? wat happened??" sad sad sad.... Im totally tanned frm top to toe.... If i go darker, think i'll need a torchlight when i go out at night le... sobs....

i wan to train indoors!!!! dun deprive us of tt small wish.... wat's e use of the hall if we cant use it for our trainings??? we are not tt pro players.... how high can we hit e ball? we used the hall last yr and no damage was done to e hall. Why cant we use it tis yr then? we accepted e fact tt a lvls was ongoing then.... but now all major exams n stuff have passed... cant we b given the chance to use the hall? training indoors n outdoors do make a difference.... by e way, our competition is held indoors!!! so we need to familiarise ourselves b4 e competition... in e hall, our reaction time n our movements will b different as compared to outdoors.... haiz... why e sch like tt??? if we cant train in sch, can we go other places 2 train???

gal.... i'm sick of trainings.... i'm sick of the people..... i'm sick of sch....
trainings arent tt interesting n wonderful as b4.... i miss those days.....
last time, trainings always put a smile on my face no matter wat...
now trainings give me headaches n frowns.... hope things will get better ba... see ya soon....

2006-11-28T14:21:00.000+08:00

yest's training was quite shiok... Firstly, it's cause mr lee (our teacher-in-charge cum coach) is not here n secondly cuz i can use upper-hand serve.... tt's e achievement tt i have so far..... each training i've been improving a little.... so far, tt's how much i've achieved so far... Yeah!!!!

previous training was quite fun... but yest's training was e best so far w/o seniors.... sorry ppl bout yest..... my balls were all 'sunday' balls... i din expect tt but it juz happened..... when i started to serve, i dun expect it to go over cuz of the way i threw e ball or hit e ball... but miraculously, the ball juz went over.... mayb luck was on my side.... hopefully, i can improve on tt or mayb tt could be my signature move... hee.... then competition, we sure can win.... Gogogo.....

but life w/o the seniors sure sux!!!! i believe those we understand wat i'm saying would agree with me... where's e enthusiasium, initiative and co-operation???? I DUN SEE ANY PRESENT..... tt's a v sad thing.... life dun revolve round u alone... things cant happen with juz u alone.... all of us have to come together to make things happen and also to help!!!! i'm so disappointed n sad.... a HUGE HUGE difference tt i see... wat's e pt when ppl dun put in e effort or even come down 4 training??? if some of us can make e sacrifice, why cant u make e same sacrifice for e same thing??? If this goes on, nothing can b achieved n we wont go far.... tt's a sure thing....
i no longer look forward 2 trainings.... haiz...

OBS pics....

2006-11-26T12:19:00.000+08:00

hey ppl... i finally got e chance to upload the pics my grp took during OBS!!! all our moments together n shared....

i missed the instructors, the course, my watch mates and everything.... i think i'm having post-OBS blues.... e week aft i came back, i still cant get used to civilisation & was always hungry.... (felt like a pig) everything was totally unfamiliar aft coming back.... now, i'm getting better.... but i was not e only one who was feeling like tt..... my fren oso felt the same thing... phew.... i'm going back there again (i hope so) due to work commitments... i'm looking forward to tt n v happy bout it... OBS, here i come again.... hee....

Thanks to those who were there to help me and giving me the support....
COOKS, thanks for encouraging me and giving me the strength to go on during the high elements' challenge.... i'm sorry tt i din managed to complete the whole challenge.... Thanks to those who were there with me when i was sick.... It was a great time we spent together... though time was short but i really enjoyed it n felt e warmth u guys gave....u guys are really a great WATCH n a wonderful bunch of frenz!!!

These moments tt we spent together as a WATCH will be kept close to my heart n brain.... all moments spent together will be cherished greatly too...

Once again... thank you COOKS!!! We rawks n we have the looks too... hee....

top:e beautiful night scenery of ubin bottom:COOKS unite (last day le)

top:Our 1st day of OBS... bottom: last dinner together as a WATCH

top: pitching up tents for e night bottom: DINNERTIME!!! yummy....

top: Climbing n belaying in progress bottom: highest pt of pulau ubin

OBS!!!!

2006-11-18T12:11:00.000+08:00

hi ppl.... I"m back!!! Tis will be a super duper long entry... bear with me for a while.... it'll b all details of my 5 days at OBS!!!! I dun at all regret going for OBS!!! It's fun, memorable and superb!!!!

I've been to OBS once and it was residential.... Residential = chalet... i'm serious.... e activities are not as tough n challenging as those in mobile... When we knew our grping n tt we will be in mobile..... I'm was like "wat e hell???? I'm going to suffer n go thru hell training...." But now aft going thru, i was like "oh my god!!!! tis is so fun n enjoyable...."

My watch grp is COOK!!!! n we rawks!!!! my instructor, serene was oso nice n fun... Yeah man..... They ppl there are nice, wonderful n lovable.... they are always helpful n cracking jokes cheering everyone up n giving each n everyone of us the power n energy to face e days' challenges..... sad thing was Serene wasnt our instuctor... she was standing in for someone only n will be leaving us aft 2 days...

1st of OBS not so tiring.... mayb cuz it was raining thus we cant do much activities.... we juz got 2 koe each other and packed our bag to prepare ourselves for e next 4 days' journey..... i think e backpack tt we carried was close to 20KG!!!!!! we slept in e open with a tent for 4 nights!!!together with ants, mosquitoes, hard grd n all sort of other funny stuff.... tis was e night where e ppl in my tent slept with a frog outside... noisy n irritating... e stupid frog was croaking for a few hrs ....

2nd day: this is where all e fun n activities started..... We went off to the Camp 1 (i think tt's camp 1) which is e residential area.... and we stayed there for e night..... fun n shiok!!!! At 1st, i tot we were going to juz do rock climbing cuz we learnt how 2 belay on e 1st day.... Ltr to my v surprise, it was HIGH ELEMENTS!!!! really killer for me!!! I was damn afraid of heights n i've to go thru this..... my heart really drop out of my mouth a few times..... out of e 2 grps there, I'M E ONLY ONE WHO SCREAMED E MOST N E LOUDEST!!! abit embarrassing though.... this was a great achievement cuz i managed to complete about half e challenge... at 1st my aim was juz to go thru 1 part of it n juz drop down..... with Serene n watch mates' encouragement, i managed to do it!!! thx ppl..... when i complete e 1st part of it, i was like "yeah!! i did it n it's time 2 get down.." but Serene refused to let me down.... she encouraged me to go on n try e 2nd part of it.... with all their encouragements n lots of time taken to calm myself down n think thru it, i plucked my courage n went on 2 e next part of e challenge.... slowly, i took e 1st step n walked down e log tt was in mid air..... lots of ppl there cheering me on plus all my screaming n shouting..... finally, juz a few more steps b4 i complete tis challenge, i requested 2 go down...
cant take it anymore.... no more energy 2 go on.... i pleaded 2 get down..... at 1st, everyone still wanted me 2 perserve on but i seriously no energy le.... b4 i get down, 'rescue team' got ready... all my watch mates position themselves n tried their best to let me down slowly n carefully.... some of them came to support me down safely.... when i reached e grd, tears of joy, happiness n shock.... Serene gave me a pat on my back while some of my watch mates gave me credit.... my 1st achivement..... Thx Fred for belaying me... can only rmb him as i saw him belaying me aft opening my eyes 4 e 2nd part....
Aft lunch, we went off for kayaking lesson n learnt how 2 capsize.... my injuries started frm here... I got blisters frm e stones n pebbles rubing my skin inside my shoes..... pain, pain n more pain.... but it was fun.... looking forward 2 e next day's activities....

3rd day: Land expedition!!! tiring n back breaking..... we carried a backpack tt was close to 20KG with us n walked in pulau ubin for 1 day... back breaking n shoulders achin.... e weather not so nice today lah... it rained n all of were drenched... we couldnt take out our poncho faster enuf.... e bag too big n heavy le.... e path we took were either slopes, muddy areas or rocky roads... hardly any proper roads... when it rained, things got worse.... all e paths were flooded... in e end, all our feet were wet n smelly.... we made it to all our checkpts n to our campsite.... Good job done, COOKS!!! e ltr part was then e best part!!! we had quarry dip!!!! it was actually a real quarry tt was filled with clean n almost clear water... we all jumped in n 'cleaned ourselves'..... shiok!! aft enjoying ourselves in e quarry, we went off 2 dry ourselves n changed.... we din have any proper toilets.... all we had was a corner away frm e ppl n we juz changed n did eveything in e open!!!! juz like e ppl of past..... really learnt how 2 appreciate wat we have now n treasure all stuff.... food was e most precious 2 us.... All of us were v contented 2 juz have dry rations, canned food n maggi noodles.... these food tasted heavenly to us these 5 days....
i was quite unlucky though.... i was down with flu on tis day.... 1st nose blocked.... ltr it started dripping.... bad thing to happened.... all e ppl in my watch were nice.... 1 of them went with me 2 find an instructor for medication... found 1 instuctor, Steven n he said i was feverish.... so off he went to take 1st aid kit.... ltr, it turned out e thermometer is spoiled... so off he went to take another one n oso 2 inform my instructor..... so we waited.... almost all of e members of COOKS sat with me 2 wait for his return.... so touching n warm.... we chatted, joked n have fun while waiting.... too long wait le so thomas n cui xia went off 2 look 4 insructor Steven again.... aft a while, he came n took my temperature... Heng no fever, if not i cant join them for sea expedition tmr.... so he sent me us off 2 bed.... no medication for me cuz e instuctor say e medicine will make me feel drowsy n all i needed was rest n water.... we chatted n joked with instructor Steven for a while b4 going 2 bed.... fun n splendid.... aft sneezing for i think 6 times, i managed 2 sleep... so no need 4 them to KO me.... but... at 2 plus, e ppl in my tent woke up... guess wat woke us up???
techno indian music!!!!! we dunno where it came frm but e music was quite loud n played on for quite a long time.... pulau ubin not so backdated loh.... heng we managed to get back 2 sleep aft a while....

4th day: Sea expedition!!!! where e fun begins again!!!! we were e last grp 2 set off but it was okie.... in e end we were still quite fast n some of us were quite up ahead.... it was oso tiring as we still haven recover frm e aches n pain frm e other days.... the sun was sorching so we have to constantly apply sun block n hydrate ourselves.... my partner was sweet... he did quite a lot i muz say.... he would splash water on me at times 2 hydrate my skin n oso help those tt needed help... a few hrs out in e sea with e sorching hot sun.... but everyone din complain much n were trying our best 2 kayak fast so tt we will b on schedule.... at i think 11 plus, we reached an island where we were supposed to take a break n have lunch.... so we gathered n took our lunch.... coffee biscuits tasted heavenly at tt time... we share our food n had 2 drink lots of water.... as for me.... i had 2 cover up all my injuries n blisters... pain, pain, pain... i limb 2 take a seat n pasted plasters on my blisters... i think i'm e only one in my grp with e most blisters n injuries.... b4 we set off, instructor Steven came n ask me if i was feeling better.... i was feeling okie tt day, i supposed.... tiredness came over everything.... so off we went 2 complete e 2nd half of e journey.... this was when i had a bad cut on my hand.... a nice clean cut wherby aft my hand went past e kayak, e whole skin came off nicely n blood was oozing out... ouch.... blood din stop oozing out.... aft my partner came 2 koe tt i injured my hand, he asked me 2 stop kayaking.... feel bad 2 let him kayak all e way... so juz bear n kayak on.... 1 stroke n there was blood.... aft a while, nat n kong came n ask wat happened.... aft they knew tt i was injured, they kayak off 2 find plaster 4 me.... with e plaster on it, at least i dun see blood ozzing out anymore... but e pain is still there.. off we go on our journey... but tis time, with caution... muz beware of oncoming kayak tt was coming in our way.... if not my hand will suffer more.... finally, at bout 2 plus, we reached our destination n yahoo.... we all made it.... we were on schedule.... another big achievement..... we went on shore and had 2 wash e kayaks n keep them.... everyone helped n we were done in no time.....
then e scary thing came.... JETTY JUMP!!!!! my heart drop out again.... aft e high elements challenge, i tot no more scary stuff le... but i was wrong... so off we went 2 e jetty, my watch mates were quite enthu n excited bout it.... i was freaking out totally n finding ppl 2 wait in e sea 2 rescue me aft i jumped.... i was e last 2 jump n b4 i jumped, legs went wobbly..... really dare not jump so i ask my instructor 2 push me off... but he say cannot.... muz jump on ur own... no choice... waited 4 bout 2 secs n i jumped.... no strength 2 swim 2 ladder... so my fren dragged me on.... finally reached 2 ladder n climbed up....once on land, my legs turned wobbly n i fell 2 e grd... sat on e grd for a while b4 i could stand up.... another achievement.... my watch ppl all v brave n daring... they wanted another jump so off we went.... but this time, i din jump.... no strength le... so they jumped while i looked on.... took pics with them ltr in e sea... fun....
tmr will b e last day of OBS le... Going 2 miss everyone le.... so we wanted to stay up e whole night n chit chat.... unfortunately not allowed... sad...

5th day: e last day of OBS le!!! time pass fast n we were going to part soon... everyone really cant bear to.... we spent so many memorable days n happy moments together.... we packed up our stuff n cleaned e stuff n store.... had breakfast together 4 e lst time.... soon, we gathered together n waited 2 be sent back to main land n part off.......

e 5-day journey ended there and we came back to main land... a few of e COOKS gathered 4 lunch b4 going back home....
for me... i really felt tt i learnt alot n grew stronger... i oso grew mentally... thou things were tough at 1st, but with determination n encouragement frm ppl, things can b overcomed.... i managed to complete half e high elements challenge, sucessfully completed my land and sea expeditions and oso went for my jetty jump.... w/o e other menbers of COOKS, i dun think i can make it... e quotes tt we had were oso inspirational.... when we are faced with obstacles, do not be afraid, plucked up ur courage, and overcome it.... all of us can do it!!! wat happens behind us n before us r tiny matters ... wat happen within us are those tt really matters.... it's v true.... there are still more quotes tt we were presented.... i dun regret going 4 OBS tis time nor i was disppointed tt i wasnt in residential... it was a good training... it makes us treasure things n dun take things for granted.... tis course made me learn more things tt i cant find in textbooks or anywhere else.... those mosquito bites n injures dun really matter... thou it may b itchy n painful but e experiences i've gained really made all those bites n injures worth it....

TO SERVE TO STRIVE AND NOT TO YIELD

(pics of e course arent ready yet.... shall post them up when it's ready....)

Bro's b-dae (24/10/2006)

2006-10-27T16:03:00.000+08:00

happie birthday 2 u..... Hope u enjoyed e gifts n e cake.... Alot of $$ spent 4 u.... Pls treasure everything.....

Bro n his peach/logan cake
me, mum, bro n aunt with cake

'Mr frog' blowing out his candles...

So it became my fault???

2006-10-27T15:25:00.000+08:00

I think u guys shd koe wat's is it all bout le... In e 1st place, ur can juz come find me n ask me wat's e problem with me.... In e letter, i told wl v clearly wat happened le n if ur still cant understand wat's going on, i dunno how 2 simplify it further....

I koe ur din do it purposely (i assumed)... It's juz sth tt happened.... I gave u guys clues, mayb ur didnt koe or misinterpreted it(tt's wat miss peh said) Ur din do anything or try to talk 2 me.... It's only during promos tt sz came n ask me how''s chem n phy paper... THAT"S ALL!!! If u guys did try to talk 2 me n i ignored ur or gave cold replies, pls tell me..... aft things happened n 4 so long, ur came n talk 2 me only tt 2 times.....

I din put up any false front.... I gave u guys tt v pissed off attitude all e time... things din not get any better throughout tt whole time.... like i said, dun assume tt things got better.... I understand tt u guys got closer n i dun blame u guys 4 it.... but spare a tot 4 others? Wat e pt of joining u guys when i cant get e link wat's ur talking bout? ur juz automatically walk off aft assembly with ur own cliques... I was juz left alone at e assembly grd.... If ur try 2 include me then it's really my problem as i rejected u guys.... but tt wasnt e case....

wl ---- Since u went thru sth similiar, i supposed u knew how's it's like 2 be isolated frm e rest.... it's a horrible feeling seeing ur frenz leaving u out.... i dunno how u resolved tt matter or was e matter resolved.. e main thing is it's a horrible thing n u'll be juz waiting 4 e other party 2 do sth... when things dragged n u waiting 4 sth 2 happened, it'll b difficult to try n solve e problem....

BJ, MP, thx 4 being there.... BJ, aft our conversation yest, i'll try 2 understand frm both sides... But u oso muz understand how it's like n feel.... i'll try my v best 2 tone down my attitude mayb give more enthu reply if they try 2 talk 2 me again.... Like i said, if u really mean 2 solve things, i'll gladly listen n do my part... But if juz 4 e sake of getting over n done with, then i'm sorry... I wont entertain u.... Sincerity is sth tt can be felt....

2006-10-17T21:44:00.000+08:00

I dunno if i've forgiven them n no longer angry with them le..... I really dunno..... They hurt me deep.... Today sth happened but i dun think it's a gd gauge..... I think if anyone saw it, they will oso do e same thing as me....

Sth really horrible n embarrassing happened to 1 of them..... It so happened tt 1 was e only one who saw it..... Given wat they did to me, i can juz pretend tt i neva see anything n not say anything till someone sees it..... But e thing is, tt tot neva came to my mind at all..... (Haven i forgiven them le???) E sec i saw it, i jumped up frm my seat n went over to help her out..... I did my best to protect her frm any form of embarrassment n did watever i shd do till she's into 'safety'..... I actually so readily offered my help to someone whom i'm angry n pissed off with..... I'm confused..... Everytime i see them together so happily, i'm boiling..... They could do such a thing to their classmate n juz pretend tt nothing happened..... There's so many of them n ALL of them are so INSENSITIVE!!!!

I koe how it's like to leave someone out.....(过来人) The feeling is terrible..... e matter wont b resolved unless they apologised to e person who's left out.... but it'll not b so simple.... I experienced both sides now...... The 'victim' always will auto display obvious 'symptoms' sub-consciously..... Mayb it'll take some time to spot but not so long...... Haiz....Mayb i shd juz ignore them n get on with my new clique..... Think tt's e best way..... Mayb ignoring them n getting on life w/o them will b better.....
miss peh, think tis is e best way unless 老天爷 give me another situation tt can test everything out...... i dun wan myself 2 b upset over such ppl..... Too tired le.... Too many things happened le n they have drained off lots of energy frm me..... have 2 save e last bit of energy 4 impt stuff......

So happening today.....

2006-10-17T21:32:00.000+08:00

Thx to Sam n Bijun, i had such a happy day today..... It's been soo long since i laughed so heartedly like today.... It all started with sth so simple.... Going to the guitar room..... In e end, we did sth so unexpected n random..... All our reactions are "Oh My God!!!" Super hilarious... Thankfully (n i really hoped) no one saw e whole incident.... If not, it'll b so embarrassing...... Heng, we managed 2 duck but Sam din really get 2 run away.....I think if we were juz 1 sec slower, she would have opened e door n see 3 crazy ppl outside her class.... Cant imagine wat her reaction would be n how would her class react..... I still cant get over e incident.... I'm like laughing n blogging at e same time..... It's still freah in my memory..... Haha....

Sam, i hope ur head is alright.... Take care......

2006-10-13T19:18:00.000+08:00

Thanks to all e teachers who helped me..... I really appreciated it v. much.....

Mdm azian: thx for all e help u rendered to us. Though it was juz tt short while n u've 2 squeeze everything into our brain, but i really appreciated it very very much..... Though not tt well done for GP, but i can see e improvement.... Thanks alot....

Miss Peh: Thanks for being there.... I koe tt i ignore u a few times when u seemed concerned.... So sorry for tt... When i cant control, i would prefer 2 get away n cool down 1st b4 seeing anyone..... Hope u'll understand.... Anyway, thanks for all ur help..... Greatly appreciated....

Miss devi: Thanks for all e help u've given.... I'm so sorry tt i did so badly for chem..... I didnt koe wat happened..... I'm so sorry....

to Karen, xin ni, joyce, jie yi, huisi n junhan.....
Thanks to all my beloved...... Thanks for being there n encouraging me.... Love ya..... U guys have always been here for me since long time ago..... Seeing u guys make me forget all e unhappiness n make me e happiest n luckiest girl to have so many good friends.... True friends.... Not like those ppl( u guys koe who r them, rite?) Well, i think i shd be able to make it..... Let's go study during e holidays... i need to buck up for some subj..... A BIG BIG thank you to all of u!!! Muacks.....

Disappointed......

2006-10-13T19:01:00.000+08:00

Promos are finally over n we've got back our results le..... SAddening promos then saddening results...... Tis promos was not a killer exam... It was a okie n fine exam... But...... WAd happened to me??? Why??? I could do the more difficult qns frm TYS... WHY cant i do a simpler paper??? WHY??? I really cant perform under exam conditions?? WHAT will happen nxt yr???? 'A' LVLS!!!!! I cant afford to not to perform for tt MAJOR exam..... If i cant perform to my standard then i'll die badly.... REALLY DIE BADLY!!!!

I was over e moon when i got back my phy results.... I thot i would fail badly for it n i would need all my H2 subj to pass..... But a surprise came... I did not fail...... I did way better than wat i would expect.... Phy n econs were e 2 subj tt i totally had no confidence at all...... I had been failing n cant understand phy ever since i took e subj..... I told my tutor e day b4 phy :" dun expect too much for phy.... I dun think i can pass.... Cannot de.... Dun expect too much..." Aft e paper, i called my tutor n it was :" No need to expect anything le.... e paper damn difficult.... i cant finish e paper n got alot of qns i dun really got confidence of my ans... Die le... Sure fail..." But when i got back e paper.... OH MY GOD.... I actually passed n did way beyond expectation..... Yahoo..... A huge improvement frm CT.... From a U to a C.... Happy.....

E rest of e subj not so well done.... Maths oso got improve.... From S to mayb a C..... Econs nothing to say.... Cuz no matter how hard i tried, i still cant make it..... So econs i dun expect too much.... When i did e paper, i was okie n i hoped for a miracle to be able to do okie.... But.... Well.... not so bad.... i didnt feel disappointed or sad for econs results....

However, chem was e worst..... I didnt koe wat happened..... My heart sank when i knew i didnt make it for chem... Chem was 1 of my okie subj n i didnt perform AT ALL!!!! I'm way way disappointed.... I'll need ages to get over tis (i need to get away frm chem 4 e time being).... A huge blow to me..... a teacher said:" tis chem paper is easy... if u came for lectures n did ur tutorials.. u have no problems with e paper" Further blow to me.... imagine u getting stabbed twice in a row.... OUCH!!!

Shiok....

2006-10-10T12:50:00.000+08:00

Went to e gym with my sis today.... It's so shiok aft e workout.... felt less like a pig aft e exercise.... Have been slacking so much for e past few days.... Aft today's exercise, din feel so guilty le.... I wan a more toned body!!! seeing those ppl there really make me work towards my target.... Their body really will make one go 'oh my god!!!'... Jia you jia you!!! Think shall continue 2 go gym during these 2++ mths... Muz train up!!!

e tot of receiving our promos result really freak me out!!! TMR!!!!! think we'll b getting back most of e papers.... Muz start praying le.... I hope for e best man!!! Cant afford 4 anything 2 go wrong le.... I worked for it tis time..... Pls dun disappoint myself..... Pls.... I'll get an ans tmr n i hope it'll be sth i hoped n wished for.....

Oh my!!!!

2006-10-10T12:36:00.000+08:00

Weather has been so bad these few days.... The sky is covered with all e haze n it's like living in an oven almost everyday.... It's so hot!!!! E fan oso not much use..... E weather is burning.... I wan live in a ice palace for e time being.... It's much better n cooler n e air might b fresher.... E PSI has reached 150++ during e weekends.... this is bad....

Those poor elderly n young kids.... They suffer e most when haze comes.... Breathing in unfresh (if there's such a word) air is bad for all of us... *cough cough*

Hope e haze will clear soon n rain will follow.... like tt can help clear e skies n have cooler weather.....

e vision of e opp block is blurred thx 2 e haze.... bad bad bad....